Graduation Photos!

I don’t know why I didn’t think to post these sooner. Honestly, I’ve kind of been avoiding blogging lately. Maybe I’ll talk about that later… maybe. Anyway, here ya go! Thank you to my awesome nephew, Tristen for being my official photographer! <3

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That awesome chick between Ashley and me is Hanna of Frazzled Mort. (: Go check her out. She’s very intelligent and funny and she has curly hair like me and we both majored in the same thing and we’re both headed to the same state this year.

Graduation-19(That’s Tristen. (: So obviously he didn’t take this photo. But seriously, look at that outfit! He’s the coolest and most talented kid I know.)

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And there’s my girl. <3

I DID IT!!!!!!! :D :D :D

Peace.

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It’s Actually Happening

I’m in a daze. My brain is telling me that I’m just on break. From classes, that is. Like Easter break or Christmas break or something. It doesn’t feel like the “end-of-the-semester, see ya in the fall” sort of thing either. But in reality this is it. Four years of college have flown by.

I graduate tomorrow. I get my diploma, my degree tomorrow. Undergrad will be no more.

What is this that is happening?!?!?!

Like I said, I think I’m in shock, or disbelief, or something.

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I’ve mentioned it previously. This summer, the move, the future, the uncertainties, the adventure, the risks, the unknown. It makes my heart pound thinking about it. It’s scary. And I’ve never been one to go toward things that I’m afraid of. But this one is different. This time I know it is the right thing, despite the intimidation, it is what I want to do and I know I have to do it.

This summer I’m going to work and save money. Any money I make from photo shoots are going toward my moving fund. I need every penny, every dollar, I can get. But I want to cherish these last weeks in my hometown as well. I want to enjoy time with Ashley and Amber. I want to take photos. I want to put this place in my mind as important, solidify it and not forget about where I came from. Okay, so that might cheesy. But it’s how I feel.

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I’m on the frontline, don’t worry I’ll be fine.
The story is just beginning.
I say goodbye to my weakness, so long to the regret.
And now I see the world through diamond eyes.”

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Anyway, tomorrow is going to be the end of my undergrad career. And I am so so so ready for it be over. I really didn’t think I’d make it through that last semester. But somehow I accomplished it, I pulled off good grades. And I think I’m finally starting to realize that I don’t give myself enough credit, and that I underestimate myself. I can’t believe I did it. I did it.

~

Other news. They’re thinking about bringing 24 back. As a limited series TV show on FOX. Well, they say it is official, that it really is coming back. But I don’t believe it. Maybe because it’s too good to be true. Maybe because I don’t want it to be true, because it’s scary: It can’t be like the actual show. And I don’t want a “limited series” (what the heck IS that, anyway?!) to *ruin* the show for me. Although that’s a dumb thought too because 24 is 24 and will always always always be important to me, in and of itself. But a 12-episode show of 24? That makes absolutely no sense to me. 24 is 24 precisely because of the number 24. Not the number 12. I guess they could crunch it somehow and make 2 hours of the show’s world into 1 hour of our world. But seriously? Agh it’s such a contradictory feeling for me! There’s no way I *wouldn’t* be able to watch it if it is really “coming back.” But…. idk.

Hope you enjoyed my mind vomit on that little issue. I’m sure I’ll have more to say on it later. For now…..

Peace.

Ponderings on a Wednesday

After I watched this, I felt compelled to post it here. It’s worth a watch. Only 3 minutes long.

I think it’d be very interesting to do that. If I got the chance, I probably would.

Follow up: Here is an excellent link that breaks this video down more. And it is an eye-opener so please read it, especially if you were *moved* by the above video. Why beauty?

~

I am presenting my senior research at my college’s symposium today. Not looking forward to doing it but definitely looking forward to getting it over with! I really didn’t know how big of a motivator graduation would be/could be, but it has really motivated me. Can. Not. Wait.

So for my Theories of Personality class our last paper is due next Thursday and in it we are supposed to take a minimum of three theorists we learned about, pick out the parts we agree with (the parts that match our personal theory of personality). I think I have mine pretty well outlined, but I am grappling with one question:

Are humans innately good or innately bad?

My gut reaction tells me innately good. I don’t know if that’s because I want to be more optimistic about the race I belong to, or what. Because if humans are innately good, then how do I explain the people who blow up bombs in the midst of 20,000+ people, and the people who shoot up schools, and the people who abuse, neglect, and rape kids and others? How do I explain the expanding prison populations? The abuse and cruelty to animals that I see on Animal Planet?

Those stories are what is stopping me from saying humans are innately good. And if it’s the environment that causes people to ‘go bad’, then how do we explain the kids who are abused and neglected and bullied from a very young age and yet still grow up to be healthy, productive members of society instead of serial killers, child rapists, abusers of their own kids, etc.? And you might say I’m focusing too much on the ‘bad people.’ But how is that different from focusing completely on the ‘good people’, the good samaritans, the everyday heroes?

I don’t know how to resolve this conflict. So what do you guys think? I’m open to any argument, no matter what angle you’re coming from. So please share, even if it’s just a sentence or two.

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Peace.

I hate the weekends. Like really really don’t like them.

Interestingly enough, my dislike for work has changed: It’s not work itself that I don’t like now. It’s the fact that work gets in the way of studying and homework (or the time I could *coughshould* be doing that stuff.). I’m actually looking forward to this summer when I can work work work and make money money money. That is my plan: To work as much as possible and save as much as possible. But. Gotta get through the next few weeks first. Cross your fingers for me.

Now for some pretty pictures.

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I’ve started an acne treatment called the oil cleansing method. Sounds crazii, doesn’t it, rubbing oil all over you face to wash it? Yeah I thought the same thing. You can learn more here: The Oil Cleansing method. But for those too lazy to click the link, the oil cleansing method basically takes your body’s natural method (oil) to nourish, cleanse, and hydrate your skin (read: face). Sounds so counterintuitive that I almost slapped myself. I mean, acne companies tell you that oil is bad and keep away from oil and blah blah blah. But really, oil is good for your skin because your skin produces it naturally. So the trick is to get the right balance of oils on your skin (instead of drying it out with all sorts of lotions and wipes and washes) and letting your skin take care of itself that way. I found it on another blog that challenged me to try it for two weeks, and that’s what I’m doing. If I remember, I’ll update how it ends up and whether I’ll stick with it.

Another healthcare update: I finally bought myself a container of coconut oil and have been experimenting ways to use it. So far I’ve used it for skin and lips mostly. And a really yummy chocolate shell ice cream topping recipe. I’ve heard it is good for dogs but I haven’t given it too much thought to give to them (although the dogs really enjoyed what I gave them off of my finger).

And while I’m on this healthcare kick… lemon water, anyone? I need to increase my water intake (and probably decrease my coffee intake, too. :P)

~

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I have lots and lots to do this week. After my morning shift tomorrow I have to work on some research stuff (if I can get it to work), somehow make a poster for my Wednesday presentation, do a reading & reflection sheet, study for an exam on Tuesday, read & summarize three chapters, and revise the third draft of my writing proficiency paper. And I need to begin thinking about all the papers I have coming up that are due in two weeks.

All this stuff is stressful. And I’m worried about not doing my best, not meeting expectations, fearing what will happen if what I *want* to happen, doesn’t happen. And so on. But I have this outlook when I think of these things: Whatever happens, I will still be alive after the semester is done and over with. I will be able to work and make money. I will be able to think of and look towards the future. I will be able to adjust my actions to the necessity of what happen(ed) and what (will) happen. Just because the path I think I should/will be going down might not happen does not mean other options are not open.

Applause for you if you understood what I just said.

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Peace.

It’s suddenly hit me

In roughly a month, I am going to be leaving undergraduate college.

Oh.my.gosh.

And when I say leaving, I mean it. Everything I have to get done, the papers due, the grades & credits rolling in to meet the requirements…. I. Am. Leaving. And I am dead set on that.

Since that has happened, the stress has pretty much wiped away. In place of it is determination. Cautious determination, yes, because I *do* still have an entire month to get through as well as a ton of stuff to do before then, but a determination nonetheless. Tonight I wrote over six pages of my senior thesis project that I’ve been seriously lagging behind on. I submitted my second draft to my advisor and am halfway finished with my third draft. (Not sure if he requires 3 or 4 drafts before the final draft, but whatever). I know what time I am presenting at the required conference school thingy (ugh). I have to submit some things to a few professors for my grad school application. I’ve begun apartment searching in Colorado (eek! omg! aaahhh!) and thinking about what it will be like to live on my own (holy crap).

And my mindset. Ah that determined mindset. It’s a strange, scary thing, that’s for sure. But there’s a path in front of me that I know I need to take and I will do it. I can’t let my fears stop me or my past mistakes and regrets slow me down. Take what is in front of you. Take what you want. It will be worth it.

Peace.

Did Ya’ll Miss Me?

A wise person once told me… “The longer I don’t blog, the harder it is to blog!” I didn’t understand what that meant back then, but I do now. Unfortunately.

And I’m sorry. My blog has fallen to the wayside. Bad Heather!

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So much has happened. It’s spring break, graduation is coming up fast, papers are starting to stream in, due dates are looming, I had the flu, I took the GRE, my car needs 2 new tires + a few other expensive problems… Plus the schoolwork that I have yet to do/be assigned, like wrapping up my senior thesis project, papers & presentations, research to do. And looking towards the summer: Researching places to live in Colorado that’ll accept dogs (which, I’m told, is next to impossible) and getting money & stuff put away for the move (which looks to most likely be happening around August-ish when the term starts) to Colorado. Those are the two main things… I think.

I’ve never been one to look towards the future and plan for it very well. Sort of like this. The future – the unknown – scares the bajeebers out of me. I’d rather take things day-to-day and kinda sorta know what’s going to happen. But obviously that’s not possible. I might have gotten a little better at it, what with grad school applications and pondering career choices and all, but the idea of not seeing Ashley and Amber on a somewhat regular basis, freaks me the eff out. I don’t care if it’s “the normal course of life.” I get that kids grow up and move away from their parents, but friends are supposed to be around forever right?! I guess I haven’t wrapped my mind around it all yet, what moving to go to grad school means. Or maybe I just don’t want to accept it. I don’t know.

~

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We had a snow day a week or two ago (I’ve lost track of the weeks, they go by so dang fast!). And the tradition in our household is to make play dough while we’re all stuck inside. We used to have lots of little hands to help mold and squeeze the flour and water together but this time it was just Haylie, the lone grandchild in the house. And she had so much fun with Grandma.

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Nerd alert: I got new pens and they are awesome. I sort of have an obsession with writing utensils, especially pens and mechanical pencils (which are the new “pencils” in my expert opinion).

Another thing that has been on my mind is a little of this and a little of that. I gave up drinking soda June 1st of last year, so a few days over 9 months total. Wow. If you could have seen how much pop I used to drink on a daily basis… that’s pretty impressive. I didn’t keep track of any weight loss because that wasn’t my goal; my goal was to challenge myself to stop drinking such an unhealthy drink – and I did it. And I want to keep doing it.

But enter problem 2, 3, 4, etc: My love of chocolate and desserts. And coffee. And weak self-control when it comes to portion sizes. And bad habit of not eating breakfast on a regular basis. Not to mention that I really don’t get the exercise I should. All of this has been on my mind lately. I know that a person’s metabolism begins to slow down mid-20s, early 30s. Since I’m going to be 22 in less than a month, that’s just three years shy of the mid-20s. Do you think I’m getting ahead of myself? Hmm…

Anyways, the point is. I am *not* a healthy person, eating or exercise-wise. They say you are what you eat? Well I’m a big dish of chocolatey & coffee-y goodness. So I’ve been contemplating the Body by Vi challenge. When I’ve mentioned this to my parents and a couple other peeps, the first thing out of their mouth is: “What do YOU need to lose weight for?!” So let me clarify this.

The people I’ve talked to that have done Body by Vi have encouraged its use not only for weight loss but for the creation of healthier eating habits as well. And that’s what I’d like to use it for. By having a shake for breakfast, it would keep me from skipping that important meal as well as providing a healthful breakfast instead of eating a sugary bowl of cereal or drinking big ‘ol cup of coffee. A shake for lunch would be beneficial for a college student like me because it would a) be healthy, b) be accessible, easy, and fast, and c) cut down on costs “grabbing a bite to eat” from Jimmy Johns or Chik Fil A. I also feel it would be harder to “cheat” and would help me build up my resistance to chocolate and other sweets during the day. And honestly, shedding a few pounds would not be alarming to me, seeing as I’ve gained some from the birth control I’m on. And of course, a diet isn’t a diet without exercise. So I also think the Body by Vi challenge would allow me to focus on healthier exercise habits.

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For some people this stuff comes natural to them. But for me, if I don’t have a plan laid out then I’m probably not going to stick to it reliably. So the Body by Vi challenge would be my center of sorts, towards moving to healthier eating and a healthier lifestyle. If I decide to do it, maybe I’ll take some ‘before’ pictures (and post them on here if I’m feeling brave enough).

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Those are a few things on my mind. Keeping in mind that I haven’t blogged for almost a month, this post took me roughly two hours to write. Last year, the post-a-day challenge, each post took me roughly an hour to write. Seeing as this semester is so much more time-crunch than last year was, I can’t see daily blogging fitting into my schedule when I’m not on school breaks. But that’s a priorities thing, as I’ve mentioned. Hopefully I’ll be able to keep up with it more often after school is out (i.e. after I graduate?! omg).

My dog family says hi.

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Peace.