I hate the weekends. Like really really don’t like them.

Interestingly enough, my dislike for work has changed: It’s not work itself that I don’t like now. It’s the fact that work gets in the way of studying and homework (or the time I could *coughshould* be doing that stuff.). I’m actually looking forward to this summer when I can work work work and make money money money. That is my plan: To work as much as possible and save as much as possible. But. Gotta get through the next few weeks first. Cross your fingers for me.

Now for some pretty pictures.

April Ice-7

April Ice-2

April Ice-3

~

I’ve started an acne treatment called the oil cleansing method. Sounds crazii, doesn’t it, rubbing oil all over you face to wash it? Yeah I thought the same thing. You can learn more here: The Oil Cleansing method. But for those too lazy to click the link, the oil cleansing method basically takes your body’s natural method (oil) to nourish, cleanse, and hydrate your skin (read: face). Sounds so counterintuitive that I almost slapped myself. I mean, acne companies tell you that oil is bad and keep away from oil and blah blah blah. But really, oil is good for your skin because your skin produces it naturally. So the trick is to get the right balance of oils on your skin (instead of drying it out with all sorts of lotions and wipes and washes) and letting your skin take care of itself that way. I found it on another blog that challenged me to try it for two weeks, and that’s what I’m doing. If I remember, I’ll update how it ends up and whether I’ll stick with it.

Another healthcare update: I finally bought myself a container of coconut oil and have been experimenting ways to use it. So far I’ve used it for skin and lips mostly. And a really yummy chocolate shell ice cream topping recipe. I’ve heard it is good for dogs but I haven’t given it too much thought to give to them (although the dogs really enjoyed what I gave them off of my finger).

And while I’m on this healthcare kick… lemon water, anyone? I need to increase my water intake (and probably decrease my coffee intake, too. :P)

~

DogsOutside-1

I have lots and lots to do this week. After my morning shift tomorrow I have to work on some research stuff (if I can get it to work), somehow make a poster for my Wednesday presentation, do a reading & reflection sheet, study for an exam on Tuesday, read & summarize three chapters, and revise the third draft of my writing proficiency paper. And I need to begin thinking about all the papers I have coming up that are due in two weeks.

All this stuff is stressful. And I’m worried about not doing my best, not meeting expectations, fearing what will happen if what I *want* to happen, doesn’t happen. And so on. But I have this outlook when I think of these things: Whatever happens, I will still be alive after the semester is done and over with. I will be able to work and make money. I will be able to think of and look towards the future. I will be able to adjust my actions to the necessity of what happen(ed) and what (will) happen. Just because the path I think I should/will be going down might not happen does not mean other options are not open.

Applause for you if you understood what I just said.

DogsOutside-5

Peace.

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Did Ya’ll Miss Me?

A wise person once told me… “The longer I don’t blog, the harder it is to blog!” I didn’t understand what that meant back then, but I do now. Unfortunately.

And I’m sorry. My blog has fallen to the wayside. Bad Heather!

Day56

So much has happened. It’s spring break, graduation is coming up fast, papers are starting to stream in, due dates are looming, I had the flu, I took the GRE, my car needs 2 new tires + a few other expensive problems… Plus the schoolwork that I have yet to do/be assigned, like wrapping up my senior thesis project, papers & presentations, research to do. And looking towards the summer: Researching places to live in Colorado that’ll accept dogs (which, I’m told, is next to impossible) and getting money & stuff put away for the move (which looks to most likely be happening around August-ish when the term starts) to Colorado. Those are the two main things… I think.

I’ve never been one to look towards the future and plan for it very well. Sort of like this. The future – the unknown – scares the bajeebers out of me. I’d rather take things day-to-day and kinda sorta know what’s going to happen. But obviously that’s not possible. I might have gotten a little better at it, what with grad school applications and pondering career choices and all, but the idea of not seeing Ashley and Amber on a somewhat regular basis, freaks me the eff out. I don’t care if it’s “the normal course of life.” I get that kids grow up and move away from their parents, but friends are supposed to be around forever right?! I guess I haven’t wrapped my mind around it all yet, what moving to go to grad school means. Or maybe I just don’t want to accept it. I don’t know.

~

Day52

We had a snow day a week or two ago (I’ve lost track of the weeks, they go by so dang fast!). And the tradition in our household is to make play dough while we’re all stuck inside. We used to have lots of little hands to help mold and squeeze the flour and water together but this time it was just Haylie, the lone grandchild in the house. And she had so much fun with Grandma.

Playdough Fun-1Playdough Fun-5

Playdough Fun-8Playdough Fun-7

~

Nerd alert: I got new pens and they are awesome. I sort of have an obsession with writing utensils, especially pens and mechanical pencils (which are the new “pencils” in my expert opinion).

Another thing that has been on my mind is a little of this and a little of that. I gave up drinking soda June 1st of last year, so a few days over 9 months total. Wow. If you could have seen how much pop I used to drink on a daily basis… that’s pretty impressive. I didn’t keep track of any weight loss because that wasn’t my goal; my goal was to challenge myself to stop drinking such an unhealthy drink – and I did it. And I want to keep doing it.

But enter problem 2, 3, 4, etc: My love of chocolate and desserts. And coffee. And weak self-control when it comes to portion sizes. And bad habit of not eating breakfast on a regular basis. Not to mention that I really don’t get the exercise I should. All of this has been on my mind lately. I know that a person’s metabolism begins to slow down mid-20s, early 30s. Since I’m going to be 22 in less than a month, that’s just three years shy of the mid-20s. Do you think I’m getting ahead of myself? Hmm…

Anyways, the point is. I am *not* a healthy person, eating or exercise-wise. They say you are what you eat? Well I’m a big dish of chocolatey & coffee-y goodness. So I’ve been contemplating the Body by Vi challenge. When I’ve mentioned this to my parents and a couple other peeps, the first thing out of their mouth is: “What do YOU need to lose weight for?!” So let me clarify this.

The people I’ve talked to that have done Body by Vi have encouraged its use not only for weight loss but for the creation of healthier eating habits as well. And that’s what I’d like to use it for. By having a shake for breakfast, it would keep me from skipping that important meal as well as providing a healthful breakfast instead of eating a sugary bowl of cereal or drinking big ‘ol cup of coffee. A shake for lunch would be beneficial for a college student like me because it would a) be healthy, b) be accessible, easy, and fast, and c) cut down on costs “grabbing a bite to eat” from Jimmy Johns or Chik Fil A. I also feel it would be harder to “cheat” and would help me build up my resistance to chocolate and other sweets during the day. And honestly, shedding a few pounds would not be alarming to me, seeing as I’ve gained some from the birth control I’m on. And of course, a diet isn’t a diet without exercise. So I also think the Body by Vi challenge would allow me to focus on healthier exercise habits.

Day55

For some people this stuff comes natural to them. But for me, if I don’t have a plan laid out then I’m probably not going to stick to it reliably. So the Body by Vi challenge would be my center of sorts, towards moving to healthier eating and a healthier lifestyle. If I decide to do it, maybe I’ll take some ‘before’ pictures (and post them on here if I’m feeling brave enough).

~

Those are a few things on my mind. Keeping in mind that I haven’t blogged for almost a month, this post took me roughly two hours to write. Last year, the post-a-day challenge, each post took me roughly an hour to write. Seeing as this semester is so much more time-crunch than last year was, I can’t see daily blogging fitting into my schedule when I’m not on school breaks. But that’s a priorities thing, as I’ve mentioned. Hopefully I’ll be able to keep up with it more often after school is out (i.e. after I graduate?! omg).

My dog family says hi.

Day60

Peace.

November 30th: On The Wall

fmsnov30

On the wall at my favorite chill spot.

~

Today I woke up late and missed my morning class, had a small headache, and every little thing was annoying me. Nothing seemed to align with what I needed to do and/or wanted to do/get done. I was frustrated and annoyed and stressing out. Then I had a meeting with my career counselor. We talked about graduate school requirements and deadlines. She helped me get some things organized so I feel better about what I have to do and I now have a to-do list of sorts in my head of what to do next. It’s a slight relief. More work, but at least I (kind of) know where I’m going.

Another small stressor I have is balancing my personal life. I can’t figure out is if it’s me doing something wrong or if it’s a product of someone’s imagination. A problem with that is that I tend to turn things onto myself and internalize them.

fmsdecphotoaday BLLDecPaD

Boy, I’ll be glad when the next two weeks are over. Yes or no, sink or swim, at least I’ll have some stuff off my shoulders (for a little while anyway).

Peace.

November 13th: Where I Slept

Last night was one of the bad nights. I got overwhelmed with everything I had to do and everything everybody expects me to do, to be, to accomplish. I’ve been thinking about how the teenage years are typically labeled the confusing, ‘bad’ years of life. But the last 2-3 years haven’t been easy, or even better than my high school years (and believe me, I hated high school). Aren’t your early 20s supposed to be fun and exciting and a time of exploring life and everything? All I feel is stress, confusion, and uncertainty, which I hate. :(

I doubt myself and my abilities.

And I don’t know what to do to get out of that mindset. Where do I go from here? How do I ‘fix’ this? In my own language, how do I get to that line I need to cross?

Thank gosh for Ashley. <3

Peace.

November 8th: Something I Do Everyday

Not going to lie, I almost put a photo of WordPress up, but I didn’t think that’d be very fun or interesting. Because you guys already know that I blog everyday. :P So instead the above photo represents my nightly routine of changing into wonderfully soft and comfy sweats with fuzzy socks before bedtime. It’s one of those minor reward things that I cherish. (:

~

I have got to say that this has probably been my least productive week this semester. Don’t know why, maybe because I put everything on hold in my head for the election? Who knows. Either way I have seriously gotten close to nothing done for school, and the worst part of it is that I don’t feel bad or guilty or even worried about it. Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing…

Today in my morning class we had a lady come give a presentation on job searching and building our resumes. During this almost-2hr presentation I got to thinking of how unprepared and overwhelmed it made me feel, the exact same feeling I got when I graduated high school and tackled college applications. I don’t really care for that feeling. :/

On a completely different note, I’m having a really big urge to watch Big Green. (:

Peace.

Happy 10-11-12 (even though it’s not really significant in the grand scheme of things)

Last night I got myself *extremely* worked up before bed. Annoyed. Mad. And then I tried to calm myself down so that I didn’t go to sleep with that sort of mindset. It kind of worked. Then I woke up, and it all came rushing back. Needless to say, I really didn’t have a good morning. My day got better as it went along, but I still have a few clouds hanging over my head that I want to give the finger and yell foul words towards. Even if I did do that, they wouldn’t move. F*ckers. And by clouds I mean a certain college and the professors in it that haven’t helped me AT ALL. But that’s another story.

Here are some photos of my day.

There’s nothing like sharing my sucker with my favorite sweet lab girl. <3

This is what my dog does. To everything she possibly can. Gotta love her. Poor monkey never had a chance.

Dustin & I took my niece to the pumpkin patch tonight. So much fun. (:

 

(Btw, does anyone have the “correct” way of doing things? Like balancing boyfriend & friends? I’m really getting fed up with it and just want it to be RIGHT. Ugh!)

Peace. 

How did this happen?

How did this sweet 9 week old puppy…

Turn into this beautiful 9yo girl so fast?

Time goes by sooooo fast.

~

I feel a *lot* better today. I’m feeling more organized, getting things more straightened out. I’m not quite where I’d like to be concerning a couple classes, but at least it doesn’t feel as overwhelming as it did yesterday. Yes, attitude plays a large part, but my perspective is more….. calm today – if that makes sense. I don’t know. It makes sense in my head. :P

Peace.