Graduation Photos!

I don’t know why I didn’t think to post these sooner. Honestly, I’ve kind of been avoiding blogging lately. Maybe I’ll talk about that later… maybe. Anyway, here ya go! Thank you to my awesome nephew, Tristen for being my official photographer! <3

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That awesome chick between Ashley and me is Hanna of Frazzled Mort. (: Go check her out. She’s very intelligent and funny and she has curly hair like me and we both majored in the same thing and we’re both headed to the same state this year.

Graduation-19(That’s Tristen. (: So obviously he didn’t take this photo. But seriously, look at that outfit! He’s the coolest and most talented kid I know.)

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And there’s my girl. <3

I DID IT!!!!!!! :D :D :D

Peace.

Is everything made of shades of gray?

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What do you want in life?

How bad do you want it?

I’m only 22 years old. (Okay, not 22 officially yet, not until the first of April, but still.) Only – already. Funny, the difference between those two words. I have a lot to learn but I think I’m figuring some crucial things out. Like the difference between “trying” and “doing” – major differences, apparently. And what’s funny about it is that it’s all in your head. All in what you believe. I find it ironic that lessons come to me after I’ve gotten the gist of it, waaaaaay after I’ve gotten the gist of it. I thought my motto, “It’s all in what you believe” referred to something entirely different. I guess it still does, but I keep finding applications for it. Like the difference between “trying” and “doing”.

So how bad do you want what you want in life?

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Peace.

Merry Christmas Eve (:

I was thinking tonight about when I “realized” Santa Claus wasn’t (literally) real, that it was really Mom and Dad putting the gifts under the tree each year.

I remember the denial I felt, trying to hold onto that magic I had felt each past year, and the disappointment and hurt that came with the realization those kind of magical things ‘just don’t happen.’ I felt the same sort of pain when I graduated high school.

The worst part of growing up is the loss of the childhood magic and view of life. 

But somehow I found it in my young, immature, and denying mind to face the fact that *that* stuff wasn’t and isn’t real, and that there are bigger reasons for the season: family, togetherness, love, joy, & gratitude – especially gratitude. I forced myself to be thankful for the things I did have, and to enjoy being around the people I love. Because that is what really matters.

There are deeper things in life then material things, then immediate reinforcement and rewards. And the realization that Christmas wasn’t the magical event my childhood mind led it out to be was a huge lesson in that.

Of course I still have my barriers and lines I have yet to cross. There are times I find myself jealous of the apparent ease others get what they want. There are times I get annoyed and angry that my family doesn’t have enough money to go on vacation every year. I’m only human, and I have many many weak points in my character. I am trying my best to strengthen those, to better myself.

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On a lighter note, I have been baking up a storm the past couple of days and my artsy-crafty side of my personality has been revealing itself. Perhaps this is because of Pinterest. I’ve become slightly addicted to the DIY pins I find, and the recipes. It’s inspired me to attempt a few crafts (I made mom’s Christmas present – homemade photo coasters – from a pin I found), and to cook. Pinterest actually makes cooking and baking look FUN! For instance, I’ve tried about six new treat recipes in the past  two or three days, and even cooked dinner for mom and dad the other night. And tomorrow (tonight) I am making Crock Pot French Toast for our Christmas breakfast and Sweet & Spicy Cocktail Weenies for a pre-dinner snack. I never knew I was so into cooking until I started looking up recipes on Pinterest. Who knows, maybe I’ll start doing some recipe posts to share! (:

Merry Christmas Eve everyone. (:

Peace.

 

November 9th: Small

I had a concept in mind for today’s photo prompt. I wanted to take some sort of photo that would show how small a single person is in the entire world. But I couldn’t quite place my vision, and so found myself struggling to come up with something to post. But, I like the colors and the contrast in this one, and it works. (:

Here comes the weekenddddd!  I actually got some productive stuff done this morning, and I hope to repeat that tomorrow morning and Sunday afternoon. My professor said something today: “I want to put a little pressure on you guys (she was talking about the exams she gives us), so you can develop the skill of sucking it up and doing what you can, and being satisfied with it. That’s the kind of attitude you want in life. You can’t have the attitude of feeling pressured so you give up and do nothing. ‘Cause that’s life. And you don’t want to go through life like that.

Good advice, Molly. Gave me something to chew on anyway.

Peace.

Day 24: a stranger

As is our habit every Tuesday, Dustin and I drove down to see his mom today. On the way, we got on the topic of age and wisdom. There’s no doubt that they are inexplicably intertwined. Some people use their age better than others though. I see these elderly people sitting in their wheelchairs, watching TV, looking out the window, seemingly oblivious and lost to the world they are a part of. But when I look at one of them, all I see is life. So many years of life, experience, impact, teaching, love, conflict, and who knows what else. It’s mind-blowing to think that the old couple you see holding hands in a restaurant, slowly making their way to a table, the man helping his wife into her seat before taking a seat himself, were once teenagers getting into trouble and taking each day for granted just like every other teenager – person – does. They have so much more knowledge and wisdom than me, all I can do is be amazed.

Peace.

I got my heart broken tonight

There are a few things in life that cannot be expressed in words, only felt and seen with the heart. I believe this is why dogs – and all animals in general – weren’t given the ‘gift’ of speech. They don’t need it. They already have every single slice of wisdom on life and love that is possible, the amount of which a thousand more centuries of human advancement could not even come close to attaining or ever understanding.

Dogs are remarkable things.

I went into Angel’s kennel tonight, to say hi and give her some loving. This pure white setter/retriever mix had come in a week or so earlier, tail squeezed tight between her legs, body as low to the ground as she could get it without completely laying down. Her ears clamped to the sides of her beautiful feminine head, her gaze constantly skirting down, every step a seemingly giant leap. She had come from a guy who beat her and his other dog with table legs. Now she can walk through the kennel runs without too much cringing. I stepped into her kennel, holding her back as I did so, and she dropped to her belly instantly. She doesn’t resist, she doesn’t fight back, she doesn’t look up. I sat down beside her and gently pulled her head up to my lap, and lifted my leg over her so I was cradling her. She rested her head in the crook of my arm under my elbow, as if she was hiding. She didn’t move a muscle. We sat there like that for about 10 minutes before I shifted my weight to get up.

This dog, this wonderful, sweet, soulful, absolute angel of a dog, who hadn’t responded to any of my whispers or touches the entire 10 minutes, lifted her head up. Before I could get up, she put her head on my arm farthest from her, and then laid her paw over my lap, as if holding me there with her.

The thought of those small movements from a practically unresponsive, formerly abused dog, still give me goosebumps. There are really no words to describe what went through me.

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All of those dogs there, touch me in some way. Whether I poke my fingers through the bars to say hello, or go inside the kennel itself to cuddle a bit more, they each have a story to tell if only someone would listen. And that story is one us humans could never understand, the love they describe and the heart they tell it with are unique to them alone. I truly believe each and every single dog is a living, breathing soul, something untouchable and forever mysterious to us mere humans.

Tell me, would you be this happy if you were locked in a kennel for 2 weeks straight?

Peace.