It’s suddenly hit me

In roughly a month, I am going to be leaving undergraduate college.

Oh.my.gosh.

And when I say leaving, I mean it. Everything I have to get done, the papers due, the grades & credits rolling in to meet the requirements…. I. Am. Leaving. And I am dead set on that.

Since that has happened, the stress has pretty much wiped away. In place of it is determination. Cautious determination, yes, because I *do* still have an entire month to get through as well as a ton of stuff to do before then, but a determination nonetheless. Tonight I wrote over six pages of my senior thesis project that I’ve been seriously lagging behind on. I submitted my second draft to my advisor and am halfway finished with my third draft. (Not sure if he requires 3 or 4 drafts before the final draft, but whatever). I know what time I am presenting at the required conference school thingy (ugh). I have to submit some things to a few professors for my grad school application. I’ve begun apartment searching in Colorado (eek! omg! aaahhh!) and thinking about what it will be like to live on my own (holy crap).

And my mindset. Ah that determined mindset. It’s a strange, scary thing, that’s for sure. But there’s a path in front of me that I know I need to take and I will do it. I can’t let my fears stop me or my past mistakes and regrets slow me down. Take what is in front of you. Take what you want. It will be worth it.

Peace.

I Kind Of Miss Post-A-Day

Whadya’ll think of my new header & background? Pretty colorful, eh? Kind of different than what I had in mind, but I *really* like the colorful pawprints. It brightens it up a bit.

I’ve seriously missed blogging. When I was doing post-a-day, I made time to get a post up each and every day (obviously). Now that I’m not constrained by that, I let it slide. No big deal. I really didn’t have much to say over the weekend anyway, except that I’m going to miss Amberness until spring break. Hurry up and get here, March 2nd!

Oi.

So this semester is about 4 days in. And I’m already feeling the time restraints. Like bad. I don’t understand how I’m supposed to fit everything into my schedule, and have been thinking about my priorities. It’s tough. I’m afraid of spreading myself too thin and breaking down, because I feel like I’m already headed that way and at this rate I won’t make it to spring break with my mind in one piece. So accordingly, this was my photo for today.

Constrained Time

Constrained Time

I’m really trying to give my all to every single class. Get my papers done BEFORE the night before they’re due. Work harder at each class – visit professors, do extra credit, read every article/chapter for understanding and critical thinking instead of ‘just getting them read’, look ahead and NOT procrastinate on assignments. Really put my mind to each class and not waste precious time doing nonsense things like browsing Pinterest or staring into space (yes, I do that). That goes back to my (poor) time management skills of course.

One thing I’ve noticed that Project 365 is giving me something to ‘center’ on each day, kind of like post-a-day did in 2012. I wake up wondering what’s going to happen, what I’m going to come across that I’ll capture with a click. I look forward to it, and it’s only two weeks into the year! That’s encouraging, right? (Or it’s a warning that I’ve hit a high early and will crash into nothingness in another 2 weeks. In which case I’ll be screwed for the rest of the year. :P)

So you know that feeling where there’s something new in front of you, an opportunity to do something you haven’t done before, and your breath shortens and your mind frantically begins spilling reasons out of your ears why you can’t/shouldn’t/aren’t able to do such a thing? The feeling of stepping out of your comfort zone, where you just want to retreat into the known, the little bubble you live in every day, where everything is familiar and coffee with chocolate on the side? Yeah, I had the feeling today in the public library parking lot.

I checked my email on my phone.

I had an email from a new psych professor.

The preview began, “Hello everyone, and welcome to being a r…”

Holy crap, I thought. Wait a second, this wasn’t supposed to happen to me.

My advisor mentioned a professor who was doing a research project for this semester and was looking for research assistants. I jumped on it, emailed her for info, filled out the form, and sent it back to her. I did this all in a rush before I could tell myself all the reasons why I wasn’t qualified, wasn’t good enough, not ready do it, didn’t have time, etc. etc. Then I told myself, There are a quite a few other psychos filling out the form, most of which who are probably more qualified than me, so whatever. I didn’t think about it after that. Then I got that email. Yeah, she chose me. And after I talked myself out of emailing her back with some out-of-my-ass reason why I wasn’t able to do it anymore, I became excited, scared, apprehensive all at the same time. Excited to get research experience. Scared because it’s something new that I’ve never done before. Apprehensive because I already have enough on my plate – can I really add *more* to it?!

Oi.

Life might not be too fun at the moment, but at least it’s not boring. Coffee & Breaking Bad with my bestie tomorrow night! <3

Parker-BW_2

Peace.

Day 16: Joy

Right now I’m sitting (impatiently) at the island/bar in our kitchen at home waiting for someone awesome to show up. And little does that person know that *another* special person will be showing up as well. It’ll be a good surprise. I’m excited. (: I haven’t seen Allison since this summer, and we’re going to have a scary movie night with chocolate and chips and salsa (thanks to Bianca). Can.not.wait! :D

Then tomorrow night I’m going to have another scary movie night with my two best friends. Absolutely CANNOT wait for that!

Oh, and I passed all my classes this semester! :D

I am so blessed. (:

Peace.

November 18th: Happened This Weekend

My plan to take a photo of work fell through when I forgot after leaving work. So instead, you get a photo of my nice new pencil case. Exciting, I know. ;)

~

Next week is going to be a full week. Can’t wait for Thanksgiving. (: Monday I have to go read to my niece’s kindergarten class, and I *might* be doing a maternity shoot. My Colorado sister and her fam is arriving that day as well! Tuesday is Dustin’s birthday, and we’re also celebrating our 2yr anniversary (which falls on Thanksgiving this year) with a dinner & movie date. Wednesday is mine and Ashley’s weekly coffee date where we will hopefully be joined by Amberness, and Dustin & I are also getting our pictures taken by someone else in the afternoon. Thursday, turkey! and Friday will be working all day trying to sell the crap out of gift cards.

Hope everyone has a good week!

Peace.

My day, in a nutshell

Today went something like this:

Picked up Dustin & Parker, who were visiting family in a town about 45 minutes away. Went to Starbucks (where they were out of the salt for the salted caramel mochas) and then dropped Parker off at home. Dropped Dustin off, went to class. In class we reviewed for the exam.

After class I talked to the prof for a while longer about my exam, then picked up Dustin again and went home. Relaxed, did homework, played with the dogs. Then… the highlight of my day.

Uncle Rick took me out shooting

I’ve only been shooting one other time in my life, and that was with him last summer. He taught me the bare basics and safety rules about guns and shooting. The first gun I shot (last summer) was a .22 (don’t remember the model) and this time he let me shoot a .45 Springfield and .40 Glock. Holy. Crap. Let’s just say this time – today – was what I expected shooting to be like the first time I did it. The kick. The recoil. And the 5 seconds of silence after pulling the trigger because your ears are ringing so loudly.

It. Was. AWESOME!

I wore my Girls with Guns shirt today, too. (: Yeah, I’m a nerd. But in my defense it is my favorite long sleeved shirt and it was cold and windy today.

The rest of my day wasn’t all that interesting, though. Meeting with a professor who basically told me I have to catch up on 7-8 weeks of work in 2-3 weeks. Wonderful. Then we had a family dinner of Mom’s homemade meatloaf, cheesy potatoes, and squash. (Btw, who else in the midwest remembers eating chili and cinnamon rolls for school lunch in elementary & middle school?) I procrastinated did homework until Dustin got off, then we hit up Blockbuster and are now watching the original 1980 Friday The 13th. There’s just something about scary movies in October (well, all of the time for me xD). Tomorrow we’re visiting Dustin’s mom, taking Hawkeye to the vet, and I have to work. Friday – crossing my fingers for haunted house & Paranormal Activity 4 with Ashley & Madison. (: Saturday, AMBER! :D :D

Peace.

My First Wedding Photography ‘Gig’

The number one thing I learned today was that I have a lot to learn. 

 

I woke up, went to Starbucks, and hit the road. The drive went smoothly (I need to get a GPS!) and I made it to my destination an hour early. As soon as Shane & his wife, Becca, got there we went inside and chatted for a bit about what was going to happen and what I needed to do while they set up the lights for the pre-wedding photos. Then people started getting there, meaning the bride and groom. Shane gave me a quick and dirty rundown of what to do in the room with the groom and groomsmen, then he and Becca went to capture the important bride moments.

No, I wasn’t expecting to be left on my own to take pictures on my first day. But it turned out alright.

The bride and groom didn’t see each other until the wedding, so Shane took all the pictures of each of them with families, friends, groomsmen, & bridesmaids. Then the groom got blindfolded and the bride came out for some shots with him. The little flower girl was around pretty much the entire time, and she sang “Tinkle, tinkle, liddle dar” for us. She was too adorable. (:

The ceremony was short and sweet. I was in the back taking wide angle shots during and the closeups before and after. After everyone had congratulated the bride and groom at the end, family photos were taken. Lots of family photos. Then they hit the party bus, and I followed the bride’s mom to the reception. There, I set up the lights for Shane (he was on the party bus) and took detail shots. The reception was breathtakingly beautiful.

Once everyone got there, we just went with the flow. The announcements, the toasts, the kisses, the dances, the garter toss, and the bouquet toss. Shane directed me and assured me the whole way. It was pretty laid back. He gave me pointers throughout, why he does this or that. It was fascinating, the amount of information I couldn’t digest today. xD This is Shane’s second full year shooting weddings full time and I am astounded at everything he’s learned in such a short time. That’s dedication and determination.

All in all, I had an absolutely awesome time, and cannot wait to do it again. It was tiring and back breaking, but the happiness on people’s faces and the emotions of the moment and the sentimentality of the entire day was amazing. Watching the bride tear up 2 minutes before walking down the aisle, seeing old couples dancing, the family and friends. It was just plain awesome. (:

Peace.

Happy Labor Day!

I hope ya’ll had a nice relaxing labor day. And for those of you who didn’t, I feel your pain.

I helped my mom organize, sort, and price a bunch of stuff for the garage sale we’re having this weekend. We also cleaned out our shed and got rid of a bunch of crap. You can actually walk in and do a complete 360 without running into or even touching anything now…. interesting. All in all, it took us about 4hrs of work to get it all done.

Parker was our supervisor…

…while Hawkeye “stood” guard.

Mom and I slaved away.

Dya think we’ve eaten enough ice cream? Might as well have the trucks deliver their loads to our freezer…

~

I got some news today. News that is nerve wracking and exciting at the same time. (: This Saturday I will be shadowing Shane Monahan at a wedding! And the last two Saturdays of September I will be his second shooter for two more weddings. I am psyched and nervous, not sure what to expect, but can not *wait* to get this experience. Learning, learning, learning, that is what I want to do. Even if I never do weddings again, this step will only help me reach my true goals. (:

On top of that, I’ve had a sudden influx of requests for photo sessions. A senior session next weekend, a precious 2yo/family photo session last weekend of September, a family session the first weekend of October, and a kids/family session the weekend after that. Is this what it feels like to be “in business”? So exciting. (:

(Then, when I’m a professional photographer, I’ll have a bumper sticker on my car that will say, “Yes, I was a psychology major. And I’m doing damn good!”) xD

Peace.