Graduation Photos!

I don’t know why I didn’t think to post these sooner. Honestly, I’ve kind of been avoiding blogging lately. Maybe I’ll talk about that later… maybe. Anyway, here ya go! Thank you to my awesome nephew, Tristen for being my official photographer! <3

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That awesome chick between Ashley and me is Hanna of Frazzled Mort. (: Go check her out. She’s very intelligent and funny and she has curly hair like me and we both majored in the same thing and we’re both headed to the same state this year.

Graduation-19(That’s Tristen. (: So obviously he didn’t take this photo. But seriously, look at that outfit! He’s the coolest and most talented kid I know.)

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And there’s my girl. <3

I DID IT!!!!!!! :D :D :D

Peace.

Drive It Til The Wheels Fall Off

I can’t believe it is almost 2013. AND that I’m almost done with the post-a-day challenge. Not going to lie, when Ashley started her’s last January, I thought to myself, “That’s something I wouldn’t be able to do.” Looking back on that, I wonder why I thought that.

Looking back at my life, at how I was or acted at certain ages, makes me cringe. I see myself as being such a messed up child back then, up until four-ish years ago.

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And it wasn’t until late this year that I started to *really* pay attention to myself. To myself as a person and how I fit into this world.

About a week ago I was in the Hy-Vee parking lot walking back to my car. I don’t remember what I got or who I was with. All I remember is seeing people going about their everyday lives: loading the car with freshly-bought groceries, buckling kids into car seats, talking on the phone while walking into the store. And I had a moment where I realized that all these people literally have their own lives and can do whatever they like. They make the decisions of what they do, where they go, who they interact with. Sure, we’re all part of our city, our state, our nation, governments give us guidelines on things. But each of us is an individual and even though I was thinking this in the context of other peoples’ lives, I was including myself with them.

This might not be news to some people, but it is to me. And it matters to me.

I mentioned a couple days ago on here, something about different wavelengths. I felt that again today, but in reality I feel it every day at different levels. Every single person has their own wavelength. Some people just don’t get along. Or maybe you know someone that you just don’t understand. Those wavelengths don’t add up, or mesh well. Other people we describe as ‘meant to be together’ whether it be in romance or friendship. Those wavelengths are similar. But where do our wavelengths come from? If I find that out, I’ll be sure to tell you.

I’ve been noticing that some people give the new year a name. Like, “The Year of Growth” or “The Year of Change” or “The Year of Self-Actualization.” I’ve never understood that, because I’ve never been able to consciously control that sort of thing. But looking back at this year, I’m almost tempted to give it the name of “The Year of Self-Realization.”

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I don’t want to say that what I am now is purely because I consciously put effort into it. I feel like it’s been more than that. Motivational speakers and self-help books and websites encourage a positive attitude and trying to see the ups of a bad situation. What I’ve realized is that they’re missing a vital part of the process: the foundation. You can’t just “change your attitude” on a whim. You can’t just “see the bright side of things” when you’ve conditioned and rewarded yourself (that’s the dog trainer in me coming out) to be negative and condescending to situations and people in your disfavor. There’s a starting point you have to take.

I’m not expert; I’m only sharing my personal experience and thoughts on it. I think the starting point for me was the acceptance that my attitude on things sucked, that I had a ‘losing’ view on life, that I was always looking for the negative things in life. Acceptance. Where do you go from there? I went to where it just felt right. I let go a little bit and trusted myself, kept good intentions in my subconscious to fuel the path. I can’t say I had a complete and detailed image of who I wanted (want) to be as a person, but I had a general feel and outline, particularly that I did NOT want to be where I was then (now).

It’s a process. And I want to keep growing.

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Peace.

It’s all in your head

It’s all in your head.

Well of course it is. Our minds are the only reality.

That’s why it’s not so easy to just “change your attitude” or “change your perspective.” It’s crazii to look back and see how much my perspective and attitude have changed, about a lot of things, both good & bad. And what’s interesting about it is that people say not to look at how far you have to go, but only to focus on how far you’ve come, but since my perspective has been changing I’ve been finding it easier to looking at how far I have to go and be okay with it. It also makes it easier to look back and see how far I’ve come, and feel even better about it.

I wish I could tell you what/how it happens. But it’s just one of those line things again. If I could find the blog post I wrote about that in, I would link it here. But I only have 8 minutes to get this posted, so it’s up to you. If you’re that interested.

(Btw, I love comments. ;))

Peace.

How did this happen?

How did this sweet 9 week old puppy…

Turn into this beautiful 9yo girl so fast?

Time goes by sooooo fast.

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I feel a *lot* better today. I’m feeling more organized, getting things more straightened out. I’m not quite where I’d like to be concerning a couple classes, but at least it doesn’t feel as overwhelming as it did yesterday. Yes, attitude plays a large part, but my perspective is more….. calm today – if that makes sense. I don’t know. It makes sense in my head. :P

Peace.

So simple, yet so beautiful

I’ve noticed that I don’t really take care of myself like I should. I don’t exercise enough, consume too much sugar, and slack on the necessities. Not hugely, but enough to make me feel guilty later on. Why?

What is holding me back from taking care of myself? What is holding me back from realizing my true worth? Accepting myself? Loving myself?

Peace.