Ponderings on a Wednesday

After I watched this, I felt compelled to post it here. It’s worth a watch. Only 3 minutes long.

I think it’d be very interesting to do that. If I got the chance, I probably would.

Follow up: Here is an excellent link that breaks this video down more. And it is an eye-opener so please read it, especially if you were *moved* by the above video. Why beauty?


I am presenting my senior research at my college’s symposium today. Not looking forward to doing it but definitely looking forward to getting it over with! I really didn’t know how big of a motivator graduation would be/could be, but it has really motivated me. Can. Not. Wait.

So for my Theories of Personality class our last paper is due next Thursday and in it we are supposed to take a minimum of three theorists we learned about, pick out the parts we agree with (the parts that match our personal theory of personality). I think I have mine pretty well outlined, but I am grappling with one question:

Are humans innately good or innately bad?

My gut reaction tells me innately good. I don’t know if that’s because I want to be more optimistic about the race I belong to, or what. Because if humans are innately good, then how do I explain the people who blow up bombs in the midst of 20,000+ people, and the people who shoot up schools, and the people who abuse, neglect, and rape kids and others? How do I explain the expanding prison populations? The abuse and cruelty to animals that I see on Animal Planet?

Those stories are what is stopping me from saying humans are innately good. And if it’s the environment that causes people to ‘go bad’, then how do we explain the kids who are abused and neglected and bullied from a very young age and yet still grow up to be healthy, productive members of society instead of serial killers, child rapists, abusers of their own kids, etc.? And you might say I’m focusing too much on the ‘bad people.’ But how is that different from focusing completely on the ‘good people’, the good samaritans, the everyday heroes?

I don’t know how to resolve this conflict. So what do you guys think? I’m open to any argument, no matter what angle you’re coming from. So please share, even if it’s just a sentence or two.



A letter to me…

Did anyone notice my new page? If not, go take a look and tell me what you think. Then go start your own list. I know you’ll want to. It’s such an awesome concept.

Tonight I accomplished #17 on my list: Write a letter to myself to read after this project.

I put it in an envelope, dated it for the future, and addressed it to myself. The one thing I’m worried about is keeping track of it until 2015. Amazing how that seems so far away. Yet in 2009, the year I graduated high school, 2013 (the year I hope to graduate from college) looked pretty dang far away, too. Sobering fact.

I’ve also begun #54: Build my photography portfolio. I do need to add one more thing to my list, so if you have any ideas or suggestions please leave a comment or tweet me @24Freak.


I’ve mentioned this amazing woman before, but I must reiterate this. I highly suggest you follow Liz at be.love.live. if for no other reason than to keep up with her story of her personal journey towards peace and the person she is today. Her daily words alone inspire and awe me, and I am so excited to get this insight into her life. And if that doesn’t interest you, follow her for the amazing photos and quotes she posts almost daily. Her happiness and love for life is breathtaking and decidingly contagious.


Thanks to Tracie Louise, I have begun a small collection of books by Wayne Dyer, and intend to read through each one slowly and methodically, soaking up everything I can. If there’s anything I’ve learned though… anybody can tell you anything to try and help you, but YOU are the only person who can take those words of advice and put them into action and really make a difference to you.

Erroneous: (adjective) marked by error; mistaken; wrong or incorrect

The chapter I read prior to opening my MacBook was entitled, “You Don’t Need Their Approval.” In it he outlined the difference between appreciating other-approval and needing it, the history explaining where it comes from, and then ways to combat it. This chapter really hit home with me because I found many examples he used to describe approval-seeking behaviors as eerily similar to what I used to do a lot in the past, and still find myself somewhat fighting nowadays:

  • Feeling depressed or anxious when someone disagrees with you.
  • Apologizing for yourself all the time.
  • Performing chores for someone and feeling resentful about not being able to say no.
  • Getting permission to do something from someone because you fear the displeasure of that person.

……….and others, but I think you get the picture.

It is ridiculous, I know, and I am ashamed to admit that I used to (still do, just not as much) need the approval of others for nearly everything I did, say, do, bought, etc. It wasn’t until a year or so ago that I realized I couldn’t go on living trying to please every single person I may or may not come into contact with, because if anything is impossible, it is that.


It’s interesting that Liz is writing her memoir about how she got where she is today, the obstacles she overcame, the transformations she went through, the conflicts she faced both internally and externally. And here I am, struggling through that process right now, stumbling and tripping, soaring and sobbing, trying to find that ever-elusive thing called peace. I’m not assuming that Liz is where she wants to be, though I applaud her if she is. I see this as a journey that never ends –> the only thing that matters is whether or not you are happy with where you are right now, and whether or not it is where you want to be.


Tagged once again

I was tagged by bloggerintraining who invented her own rules for the game. So I’m going to invent my own. Pass it on if you want, answer the questions if you want, but I’m merely going to use the questions as a fun blog post instead of passing it on. If you do happen to find the questions and answer them, I’d love to see the post.

What story does your family always tell about you?

  • My mother (as all mothers do) loves telling stories about my childhood, particularly my potty training one. When my family was beginning to teach me to go potty like a big girl, my mom said she got one response from me: *hands on my hips* *face scrunched up* “I’m NOT gonna do it!!!” And my mom would say: “Oh yes you are!” and then sit me on the toilet and not let me get up until I’d done my business. She said I fought her the whole way, but, in the end she won (of course I thank her for that now xD). I was stubborn even back at the age of 3…

If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to?

  • I would change it to Alyx/Alix (pronounced Alex) just because I’ve always been a fan of that name for a girl. Not Alexandra or any other long name that Ali or Alex is normally short for. Just Alex. Of course, I like that name for a boy, too. :P

If you were reincarnated as an animal/drink/ice cream flavor, what would you be?

  • Animal –> A dog, a wolf or a tiger.
  • Drink –> Iced tea, sweet tea, or lemonade. A refreshing drink on a summer’s day. Or hot chocolate, if I were to live in Alaska.
  • Ice cream flavor –> Chocolate. Or super fudge brownie. Yum!

What would you name the autobiography of your life?

  • “Red Hair, Pawprints, & Hypothetical Questions”. Or maybe something like, “Heard That: My Life As A Ginger.”

If you could be any fictional character, who would you be?

  • Hermione, from Harry Potter. Because she got to marry Ron Weasley and her hair is gorgeous. (: (Yes, I know she has her own hair stylist but still…)

Again, if you answer these questions in a post, link it in a comment here so I can see it (if I don’t already follow you, that is).

Here’s some color to brighten this post up (because we both know tomorrow’s post will most likely be pretty darn blah):

Oh, and Buddy says hey.


As I sit here…

Second day in a row of bloggers block. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I guess we all have our days, right?

The sad thing is I haven’t gotten any shots the past couple days either. I could make excuses like, “I’m focusing on finals” or “I haven’t had the time.” But regardless of the truthfulness of those, the real reason is because I haven’t picked up my camera and actively looked for a shot to capture. Sadly enough.

However I was asked from a friend at work to take her baby boy’s 6 month photos and I am super excited and nervous about it. I have lots of ideas planned out, and hopefully (if all goes well) I will be doing my first baby shoot next week! Wish me luck. (:


I might’ve posted this one already but, hey, Jayde’s face never gets old. (:


My unbiological sister did a post yesterday about peace. (It makes me excited to see she’s doing the May PhotoADay challenge, which I stepped out of for the month.) At the end she posed a question…

“Being in nature and spending time with my dogs have always been the two most effective ways  (& two of my favorite ways) for me to find peace. What do you do that you find peaceful? Where do you turn to find peace?”

Fascinating question, because I really don’t know where I find peace. Of course my technical mind began splitting it up and analyzing the bits and pieces after I read the question, so that led me to: “What kind of peace are you looking for? What kind of peace do you want?

Then there is this:

“….instead it is a sense of calm & hope in the midst of all of that because we are faced with suffering, confusion, pain, and reality every moment of our lives. peace gives us strength to make it through.”  – Liz

I’d like to say that this is the strongest definition I’ve yet found for the kind of peace I am looking for, but I hesitated in saying that outright. My gut is telling me something is missing but I’m not sure what this is exactly.

Anyway. I feel peace when I’m alone with Jayde and/or Mandy- playing with them, going for a walk, just the two or three of us hanging out. Walking and running help me feel peaceful. Sometimes driving around with some country music on and the windows down can do wonders.

But even as I was typing that, I wondered: Is that really ‘peace’ I feel while doing those things? Or am I mistaking calmness/contentedness for ‘peace’? I’m not looking for something temporary that comes and goes depending on who I’m with or what I’m doing. The peace I’m searching for is something deeper. Peace with myself perhaps?

As always…. peace.

Train in abstract

Not sure if this *would* be considered abstract, but then again I’ve never attempted abstract photography. This was sort of a lucky shot that I thought looked neat in black and white.


It was a long weekend for this chick. A long, hard, tiring weekend that sucked all the energy and patience out of me. And usually Mondays and Tuesdays are my relief days, focusing on homework and busy work, and nothing else. But I have a final on Wednesday and Thursday and that is what I need to work on right now, so it’s not much relief. Right now I’m too mentally and physically exhausted to think about anything, let alone this:

What is Nathanson’s “Rule Utilitarian Defense” of noncombatant immunity?  A complete answer will include the following: (a) the distinction between act and rule utilitarianism; (b) Nathanson’s 5 step argument for absolute prohibitions; (c) how Nathanson applies absolute prohibitions to noncombatant immunity; (d) the implications of this argument for terrorism.

That and four more like it for Wednesday. Once I get rest and nutrients in me, maybe I’ll be able to focus my brain more. But I’ve noticed today I’ve forgotten stupid, little things that I normally remember in my sleep. And now I’m afraid I’m going to sleep through the last History & Systems class of the semester tomorrow, which I cannot do.

Wish me luck. && have a good week, peeps.


I wasn’t going to continue this at first…

The Tagging Game!


  1. Post the rules
  2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post
  3. Create at least 5 new questions
  4. Tag some peeps and link them to your post
  5. Let em know they’ve been tagged!
I was tagged by Amberness.

What is your favorite time of day and why?

  • Midnight. Because it’s when I the rest of the house is sleeping. I feel more relaxed and do my best work this time of night.

If you could have one exotic pet, what would it be?

  • A panther. They’re so badass.

If you had a choice between a huge house with no furniture or a small house with a ridiculous amount of furniture, what would you pick? Be creative.

  • My first thought was, does it have lots of windows? If so, I’d pick the small house with lots of furniture, sell it all for ridiculous prices, and buy photography equipment and make into a studio. :)

What is your favorite activity to do when you are sleeping?

  • Have dreams inside of dreams inside of dreams and then wonder if I’m awake or asleep. Or if that just really happened.

A life like Twilight or a life like Harry Potter? Please don’t disappoint me on this one.

  • Twilight, duh. Uh, Harry Potter obviously. I have a list of people I’d like to set a hippogriff on. Or a basilisk. Or a dragon.

Who is your favorite celebrity crush?

  • Honestly, don’t have a crush on any celebrity. If I had to choose… Shemar Moore or Carlos Benard. Probably because they’re both extremely badass. ;)

If you could eat all the fast food you wanted and lived to be a hundred in good health, Would you? Or what if you ate healthy and lived to be a thousand years old? What would you choose?

  • I’d eat healthy and live to be a thousand, just because fast food is gross unless it’s Jimmy Johns or Quiznos. I hardly eat fast food.

Chicken or Chicken from the Sea (It says chicken)?

  • Chicken. If I understand this correctly…

Better Than Sex Cake or Sex on A Beach?

  • Better Than Sex cake definitely!

Swiss Cheese or Sharp Cheddar?

  • Sharp cheddar. On apple pie. Yum.

What would you accept? Aliens that mimic Jersey Shore, or Ghosts that like to party?

  • Oh, good grief. Imma keep my mouth shut on this one. Ghosts, of course.

All Natural or Preservative Heaven?

  • Huh?

A life time supply of Chocolate? Or a life time supply of gas (for vehicles)?

  • Gas. Then I’d use all the money saved to buy chocolate.

Finally, If you could be a zombie killer. What would your name be?

  • Head-choppin’ Heather.

I tag: MarcellaSnigdhalightness of being, and be.love.live.

My questions:

If you could take a walk in a celebrity’s shoes for a day, who would you choose and why?

Chocolate or vanilla?

What is your favorite song and why?

Dogs or cats? (Don’t make me unfollow you.)

Which part of Fear Factor would you be the worst at: the physical activity, the gross stuff, or the dare devil stunts? The best at?

What is one strange habit you have? Where did it come from?

If you were in a fire, apart from people and animals, what 5 things would you grab first if you had the time (in order)?