I hate the weekends. Like really really don’t like them.

Interestingly enough, my dislike for work has changed: It’s not work itself that I don’t like now. It’s the fact that work gets in the way of studying and homework (or the time I could *coughshould* be doing that stuff.). I’m actually looking forward to this summer when I can work work work and make money money money. That is my plan: To work as much as possible and save as much as possible. But. Gotta get through the next few weeks first. Cross your fingers for me.

Now for some pretty pictures.

April Ice-7

April Ice-2

April Ice-3

~

I’ve started an acne treatment called the oil cleansing method. Sounds crazii, doesn’t it, rubbing oil all over you face to wash it? Yeah I thought the same thing. You can learn more here: The Oil Cleansing method. But for those too lazy to click the link, the oil cleansing method basically takes your body’s natural method (oil) to nourish, cleanse, and hydrate your skin (read: face). Sounds so counterintuitive that I almost slapped myself. I mean, acne companies tell you that oil is bad and keep away from oil and blah blah blah. But really, oil is good for your skin because your skin produces it naturally. So the trick is to get the right balance of oils on your skin (instead of drying it out with all sorts of lotions and wipes and washes) and letting your skin take care of itself that way. I found it on another blog that challenged me to try it for two weeks, and that’s what I’m doing. If I remember, I’ll update how it ends up and whether I’ll stick with it.

Another healthcare update: I finally bought myself a container of coconut oil and have been experimenting ways to use it. So far I’ve used it for skin and lips mostly. And a really yummy chocolate shell ice cream topping recipe. I’ve heard it is good for dogs but I haven’t given it too much thought to give to them (although the dogs really enjoyed what I gave them off of my finger).

And while I’m on this healthcare kick… lemon water, anyone? I need to increase my water intake (and probably decrease my coffee intake, too. :P)

~

DogsOutside-1

I have lots and lots to do this week. After my morning shift tomorrow I have to work on some research stuff (if I can get it to work), somehow make a poster for my Wednesday presentation, do a reading & reflection sheet, study for an exam on Tuesday, read & summarize three chapters, and revise the third draft of my writing proficiency paper. And I need to begin thinking about all the papers I have coming up that are due in two weeks.

All this stuff is stressful. And I’m worried about not doing my best, not meeting expectations, fearing what will happen if what I *want* to happen, doesn’t happen. And so on. But I have this outlook when I think of these things: Whatever happens, I will still be alive after the semester is done and over with. I will be able to work and make money. I will be able to think of and look towards the future. I will be able to adjust my actions to the necessity of what happen(ed) and what (will) happen. Just because the path I think I should/will be going down might not happen does not mean other options are not open.

Applause for you if you understood what I just said.

DogsOutside-5

Peace.

Did Ya’ll Miss Me?

A wise person once told me… “The longer I don’t blog, the harder it is to blog!” I didn’t understand what that meant back then, but I do now. Unfortunately.

And I’m sorry. My blog has fallen to the wayside. Bad Heather!

Day56

So much has happened. It’s spring break, graduation is coming up fast, papers are starting to stream in, due dates are looming, I had the flu, I took the GRE, my car needs 2 new tires + a few other expensive problems… Plus the schoolwork that I have yet to do/be assigned, like wrapping up my senior thesis project, papers & presentations, research to do. And looking towards the summer: Researching places to live in Colorado that’ll accept dogs (which, I’m told, is next to impossible) and getting money & stuff put away for the move (which looks to most likely be happening around August-ish when the term starts) to Colorado. Those are the two main things… I think.

I’ve never been one to look towards the future and plan for it very well. Sort of like this. The future – the unknown – scares the bajeebers out of me. I’d rather take things day-to-day and kinda sorta know what’s going to happen. But obviously that’s not possible. I might have gotten a little better at it, what with grad school applications and pondering career choices and all, but the idea of not seeing Ashley and Amber on a somewhat regular basis, freaks me the eff out. I don’t care if it’s “the normal course of life.” I get that kids grow up and move away from their parents, but friends are supposed to be around forever right?! I guess I haven’t wrapped my mind around it all yet, what moving to go to grad school means. Or maybe I just don’t want to accept it. I don’t know.

~

Day52

We had a snow day a week or two ago (I’ve lost track of the weeks, they go by so dang fast!). And the tradition in our household is to make play dough while we’re all stuck inside. We used to have lots of little hands to help mold and squeeze the flour and water together but this time it was just Haylie, the lone grandchild in the house. And she had so much fun with Grandma.

Playdough Fun-1Playdough Fun-5

Playdough Fun-8Playdough Fun-7

~

Nerd alert: I got new pens and they are awesome. I sort of have an obsession with writing utensils, especially pens and mechanical pencils (which are the new “pencils” in my expert opinion).

Another thing that has been on my mind is a little of this and a little of that. I gave up drinking soda June 1st of last year, so a few days over 9 months total. Wow. If you could have seen how much pop I used to drink on a daily basis… that’s pretty impressive. I didn’t keep track of any weight loss because that wasn’t my goal; my goal was to challenge myself to stop drinking such an unhealthy drink – and I did it. And I want to keep doing it.

But enter problem 2, 3, 4, etc: My love of chocolate and desserts. And coffee. And weak self-control when it comes to portion sizes. And bad habit of not eating breakfast on a regular basis. Not to mention that I really don’t get the exercise I should. All of this has been on my mind lately. I know that a person’s metabolism begins to slow down mid-20s, early 30s. Since I’m going to be 22 in less than a month, that’s just three years shy of the mid-20s. Do you think I’m getting ahead of myself? Hmm…

Anyways, the point is. I am *not* a healthy person, eating or exercise-wise. They say you are what you eat? Well I’m a big dish of chocolatey & coffee-y goodness. So I’ve been contemplating the Body by Vi challenge. When I’ve mentioned this to my parents and a couple other peeps, the first thing out of their mouth is: “What do YOU need to lose weight for?!” So let me clarify this.

The people I’ve talked to that have done Body by Vi have encouraged its use not only for weight loss but for the creation of healthier eating habits as well. And that’s what I’d like to use it for. By having a shake for breakfast, it would keep me from skipping that important meal as well as providing a healthful breakfast instead of eating a sugary bowl of cereal or drinking big ‘ol cup of coffee. A shake for lunch would be beneficial for a college student like me because it would a) be healthy, b) be accessible, easy, and fast, and c) cut down on costs “grabbing a bite to eat” from Jimmy Johns or Chik Fil A. I also feel it would be harder to “cheat” and would help me build up my resistance to chocolate and other sweets during the day. And honestly, shedding a few pounds would not be alarming to me, seeing as I’ve gained some from the birth control I’m on. And of course, a diet isn’t a diet without exercise. So I also think the Body by Vi challenge would allow me to focus on healthier exercise habits.

Day55

For some people this stuff comes natural to them. But for me, if I don’t have a plan laid out then I’m probably not going to stick to it reliably. So the Body by Vi challenge would be my center of sorts, towards moving to healthier eating and a healthier lifestyle. If I decide to do it, maybe I’ll take some ‘before’ pictures (and post them on here if I’m feeling brave enough).

~

Those are a few things on my mind. Keeping in mind that I haven’t blogged for almost a month, this post took me roughly two hours to write. Last year, the post-a-day challenge, each post took me roughly an hour to write. Seeing as this semester is so much more time-crunch than last year was, I can’t see daily blogging fitting into my schedule when I’m not on school breaks. But that’s a priorities thing, as I’ve mentioned. Hopefully I’ll be able to keep up with it more often after school is out (i.e. after I graduate?! omg).

My dog family says hi.

Day60

Peace.

I Kind Of Miss Post-A-Day

Whadya’ll think of my new header & background? Pretty colorful, eh? Kind of different than what I had in mind, but I *really* like the colorful pawprints. It brightens it up a bit.

I’ve seriously missed blogging. When I was doing post-a-day, I made time to get a post up each and every day (obviously). Now that I’m not constrained by that, I let it slide. No big deal. I really didn’t have much to say over the weekend anyway, except that I’m going to miss Amberness until spring break. Hurry up and get here, March 2nd!

Oi.

So this semester is about 4 days in. And I’m already feeling the time restraints. Like bad. I don’t understand how I’m supposed to fit everything into my schedule, and have been thinking about my priorities. It’s tough. I’m afraid of spreading myself too thin and breaking down, because I feel like I’m already headed that way and at this rate I won’t make it to spring break with my mind in one piece. So accordingly, this was my photo for today.

Constrained Time

Constrained Time

I’m really trying to give my all to every single class. Get my papers done BEFORE the night before they’re due. Work harder at each class – visit professors, do extra credit, read every article/chapter for understanding and critical thinking instead of ‘just getting them read’, look ahead and NOT procrastinate on assignments. Really put my mind to each class and not waste precious time doing nonsense things like browsing Pinterest or staring into space (yes, I do that). That goes back to my (poor) time management skills of course.

One thing I’ve noticed that Project 365 is giving me something to ‘center’ on each day, kind of like post-a-day did in 2012. I wake up wondering what’s going to happen, what I’m going to come across that I’ll capture with a click. I look forward to it, and it’s only two weeks into the year! That’s encouraging, right? (Or it’s a warning that I’ve hit a high early and will crash into nothingness in another 2 weeks. In which case I’ll be screwed for the rest of the year. :P)

So you know that feeling where there’s something new in front of you, an opportunity to do something you haven’t done before, and your breath shortens and your mind frantically begins spilling reasons out of your ears why you can’t/shouldn’t/aren’t able to do such a thing? The feeling of stepping out of your comfort zone, where you just want to retreat into the known, the little bubble you live in every day, where everything is familiar and coffee with chocolate on the side? Yeah, I had the feeling today in the public library parking lot.

I checked my email on my phone.

I had an email from a new psych professor.

The preview began, “Hello everyone, and welcome to being a r…”

Holy crap, I thought. Wait a second, this wasn’t supposed to happen to me.

My advisor mentioned a professor who was doing a research project for this semester and was looking for research assistants. I jumped on it, emailed her for info, filled out the form, and sent it back to her. I did this all in a rush before I could tell myself all the reasons why I wasn’t qualified, wasn’t good enough, not ready do it, didn’t have time, etc. etc. Then I told myself, There are a quite a few other psychos filling out the form, most of which who are probably more qualified than me, so whatever. I didn’t think about it after that. Then I got that email. Yeah, she chose me. And after I talked myself out of emailing her back with some out-of-my-ass reason why I wasn’t able to do it anymore, I became excited, scared, apprehensive all at the same time. Excited to get research experience. Scared because it’s something new that I’ve never done before. Apprehensive because I already have enough on my plate – can I really add *more* to it?!

Oi.

Life might not be too fun at the moment, but at least it’s not boring. Coffee & Breaking Bad with my bestie tomorrow night! <3

Parker-BW_2

Peace.

TGI……M

Yes, I’m happy it is Monday. Because the weekend is draining and no fun (although the money that I make is usually worth the exhaustion). One of the biggest problems I had with post-a-day was posting on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays, because I was worn out from working and didn’t really have the mental strength to come up with anything substantial or worth reading. And I’m thinking that my 365 photo-a-day challenge will have the same issues.


 Day4 Day6

Day5

If you follow me on Twitter you might know by now that I started watching the tv show The Walking Dead, and have become slightly hooked on it, the characters. Honestly, when I first heard about it I thought it sounded stupid. I’ve never seen a particularly good zombie movie, and a whole tv series? They must’ve been dreaming. But I gave it a chance, and it is a good show. I’m sad there are only three seasons so far. Well two and a half. I’m watching the midseason finale of the third season tonight, and it doesn’t start up on tv again until February.

Anyways.

The bad thing about *this* Monday is that classes begin again on Wednesday. :/ I’m ready to go back – to get it over with, to graduate – and yet I’m not ready to sign my life away for the next 5 months either. It’s a bittersweet situation. I’ve been thinking about all that I have to get done, and I’m seriously not looking forward to my work load, which doesn’t even include actual classes yet: senior thesis research, writing, and revisions, grad school apps, developing my resume, balancing work & school to make enough but not fail classes. And all the little things in between like my 365 project and my dogs and this blog. Real life begins again on Wednesday.

Maybe someday I’ll reach the point where “real life” doesn’t carry a negative connotation with it. I hope so.

Other news: I entered a giveaway for a Canon 50mm f/1.4. I do own the 50mm f/1.8 but would LOVE to have the 1.4. I used it at the weddings I helped with this past summer and it was a dream. Here’s the link, in case you want to enter: http://cravemyphotography.com/blog/business-jump-start-giveaway/

One other thing. I challenged myself again this year to read 50 books on www.goodreads.com like I did in 2012. I didn’t quite make it last year, falling about 6 books short. (Honestly, 50 is pitiful compared to what I used to read, but then again life is much busier nowadays). 50 books means roughly a book a week. During the summer, this isn’t too hard but during the school year I can go months without reading an actual book for myself (textbooks don’t count, usually). I’m going to challenge myself this semester to practice tougher and more efficient time management skills, like I should have started four years ago. :P Too bad Jack Bauer isn’t around to give me a few tips.

I need to revamp my blog again before school starts (because then I won’t have any time to do it).

Peace. (:

Back to reality

Why is it that the ride home always goes so much faster than the ride to your vaca spot?

Whatever the reason, I don’t like it. Right now I wish I had a time machine so I could go back in time. I definitely wasn’t ready to come home, and I’m not ready to face next week. That being said…

I am going to enjoy a movie night with my girls one last time before Amber heads back to her college town. Maybe I’ll look up some stress relieving exercises for the coming semester. Or maybe I should take up jogging/running (if my knees could hold up). I need to get back into writing in my journal, trying to connect with myself. And I need to find this mis-balance in my life and correct it or adjust to it, because it just doesn’t feel right.

I’m thankful for the time I got to spend with my sister and wonderful niece and nephew. I’m thankful I got to venture onto scary, confusing streets with my boyfriend. I’m thankful I got the chance to be ‘on my own’ for a while. I’m thankful for the people in my life.

Now, if I’m not mistaken, Ashley is bringing a time machine over for me as well as a Rx of Fukitol in case the time machine goes awry. Wish us luck. (:

Peace.

August already?!

I thought the title fitting, since a month ago I did the same thing. Time really does fly. Time to get back on track.

When I think ‘summer’ I think June/July. August conjures up the images of fall, going back to classes, leaves changing, and overall fading into winter. I can honestly say I’m not entering this month in a very promising manner. In some parts of my life I feel up, and other parts I just feel so discouraged and hopeless, like there is no end to it all. The thought of classes gets me down because I don’t feel prepared. I remember entering freshmen year of high school, nervous about the teachers, classes, new students, schedules, lockers, fitting in, getting good grades. When my senior year was here, I was terrified because I didn’t feel like I was ready for “real life,” choosing a college, choosing my major and future career. But as fast as senior year came along, my last year of college approached at warp speed.

This is sort of what I felt like when I graduated high school, and what I’m beginning to feel with the thought of my last year of college – so much hanging in the balance, it seems – a now or never moment.

(And for a more uplifting read, click here.)

Peace.