Ponderings on a Wednesday

After I watched this, I felt compelled to post it here. It’s worth a watch. Only 3 minutes long.

I think it’d be very interesting to do that. If I got the chance, I probably would.

Follow up: Here is an excellent link that breaks this video down more. And it is an eye-opener so please read it, especially if you were *moved* by the above video. Why beauty?

~

I am presenting my senior research at my college’s symposium today. Not looking forward to doing it but definitely looking forward to getting it over with! I really didn’t know how big of a motivator graduation would be/could be, but it has really motivated me. Can. Not. Wait.

So for my Theories of Personality class our last paper is due next Thursday and in it we are supposed to take a minimum of three theorists we learned about, pick out the parts we agree with (the parts that match our personal theory of personality). I think I have mine pretty well outlined, but I am grappling with one question:

Are humans innately good or innately bad?

My gut reaction tells me innately good. I don’t know if that’s because I want to be more optimistic about the race I belong to, or what. Because if humans are innately good, then how do I explain the people who blow up bombs in the midst of 20,000+ people, and the people who shoot up schools, and the people who abuse, neglect, and rape kids and others? How do I explain the expanding prison populations? The abuse and cruelty to animals that I see on Animal Planet?

Those stories are what is stopping me from saying humans are innately good. And if it’s the environment that causes people to ‘go bad’, then how do we explain the kids who are abused and neglected and bullied from a very young age and yet still grow up to be healthy, productive members of society instead of serial killers, child rapists, abusers of their own kids, etc.? And you might say I’m focusing too much on the ‘bad people.’ But how is that different from focusing completely on the ‘good people’, the good samaritans, the everyday heroes?

I don’t know how to resolve this conflict. So what do you guys think? I’m open to any argument, no matter what angle you’re coming from. So please share, even if it’s just a sentence or two.

DogsOutside-11

Peace.

Advertisements

It’s suddenly hit me

In roughly a month, I am going to be leaving undergraduate college.

Oh.my.gosh.

And when I say leaving, I mean it. Everything I have to get done, the papers due, the grades & credits rolling in to meet the requirements…. I. Am. Leaving. And I am dead set on that.

Since that has happened, the stress has pretty much wiped away. In place of it is determination. Cautious determination, yes, because I *do* still have an entire month to get through as well as a ton of stuff to do before then, but a determination nonetheless. Tonight I wrote over six pages of my senior thesis project that I’ve been seriously lagging behind on. I submitted my second draft to my advisor and am halfway finished with my third draft. (Not sure if he requires 3 or 4 drafts before the final draft, but whatever). I know what time I am presenting at the required conference school thingy (ugh). I have to submit some things to a few professors for my grad school application. I’ve begun apartment searching in Colorado (eek! omg! aaahhh!) and thinking about what it will be like to live on my own (holy crap).

And my mindset. Ah that determined mindset. It’s a strange, scary thing, that’s for sure. But there’s a path in front of me that I know I need to take and I will do it. I can’t let my fears stop me or my past mistakes and regrets slow me down. Take what is in front of you. Take what you want. It will be worth it.

Peace.

Did Ya’ll Miss Me?

A wise person once told me… “The longer I don’t blog, the harder it is to blog!” I didn’t understand what that meant back then, but I do now. Unfortunately.

And I’m sorry. My blog has fallen to the wayside. Bad Heather!

Day56

So much has happened. It’s spring break, graduation is coming up fast, papers are starting to stream in, due dates are looming, I had the flu, I took the GRE, my car needs 2 new tires + a few other expensive problems… Plus the schoolwork that I have yet to do/be assigned, like wrapping up my senior thesis project, papers & presentations, research to do. And looking towards the summer: Researching places to live in Colorado that’ll accept dogs (which, I’m told, is next to impossible) and getting money & stuff put away for the move (which looks to most likely be happening around August-ish when the term starts) to Colorado. Those are the two main things… I think.

I’ve never been one to look towards the future and plan for it very well. Sort of like this. The future – the unknown – scares the bajeebers out of me. I’d rather take things day-to-day and kinda sorta know what’s going to happen. But obviously that’s not possible. I might have gotten a little better at it, what with grad school applications and pondering career choices and all, but the idea of not seeing Ashley and Amber on a somewhat regular basis, freaks me the eff out. I don’t care if it’s “the normal course of life.” I get that kids grow up and move away from their parents, but friends are supposed to be around forever right?! I guess I haven’t wrapped my mind around it all yet, what moving to go to grad school means. Or maybe I just don’t want to accept it. I don’t know.

~

Day52

We had a snow day a week or two ago (I’ve lost track of the weeks, they go by so dang fast!). And the tradition in our household is to make play dough while we’re all stuck inside. We used to have lots of little hands to help mold and squeeze the flour and water together but this time it was just Haylie, the lone grandchild in the house. And she had so much fun with Grandma.

Playdough Fun-1Playdough Fun-5

Playdough Fun-8Playdough Fun-7

~

Nerd alert: I got new pens and they are awesome. I sort of have an obsession with writing utensils, especially pens and mechanical pencils (which are the new “pencils” in my expert opinion).

Another thing that has been on my mind is a little of this and a little of that. I gave up drinking soda June 1st of last year, so a few days over 9 months total. Wow. If you could have seen how much pop I used to drink on a daily basis… that’s pretty impressive. I didn’t keep track of any weight loss because that wasn’t my goal; my goal was to challenge myself to stop drinking such an unhealthy drink – and I did it. And I want to keep doing it.

But enter problem 2, 3, 4, etc: My love of chocolate and desserts. And coffee. And weak self-control when it comes to portion sizes. And bad habit of not eating breakfast on a regular basis. Not to mention that I really don’t get the exercise I should. All of this has been on my mind lately. I know that a person’s metabolism begins to slow down mid-20s, early 30s. Since I’m going to be 22 in less than a month, that’s just three years shy of the mid-20s. Do you think I’m getting ahead of myself? Hmm…

Anyways, the point is. I am *not* a healthy person, eating or exercise-wise. They say you are what you eat? Well I’m a big dish of chocolatey & coffee-y goodness. So I’ve been contemplating the Body by Vi challenge. When I’ve mentioned this to my parents and a couple other peeps, the first thing out of their mouth is: “What do YOU need to lose weight for?!” So let me clarify this.

The people I’ve talked to that have done Body by Vi have encouraged its use not only for weight loss but for the creation of healthier eating habits as well. And that’s what I’d like to use it for. By having a shake for breakfast, it would keep me from skipping that important meal as well as providing a healthful breakfast instead of eating a sugary bowl of cereal or drinking big ‘ol cup of coffee. A shake for lunch would be beneficial for a college student like me because it would a) be healthy, b) be accessible, easy, and fast, and c) cut down on costs “grabbing a bite to eat” from Jimmy Johns or Chik Fil A. I also feel it would be harder to “cheat” and would help me build up my resistance to chocolate and other sweets during the day. And honestly, shedding a few pounds would not be alarming to me, seeing as I’ve gained some from the birth control I’m on. And of course, a diet isn’t a diet without exercise. So I also think the Body by Vi challenge would allow me to focus on healthier exercise habits.

Day55

For some people this stuff comes natural to them. But for me, if I don’t have a plan laid out then I’m probably not going to stick to it reliably. So the Body by Vi challenge would be my center of sorts, towards moving to healthier eating and a healthier lifestyle. If I decide to do it, maybe I’ll take some ‘before’ pictures (and post them on here if I’m feeling brave enough).

~

Those are a few things on my mind. Keeping in mind that I haven’t blogged for almost a month, this post took me roughly two hours to write. Last year, the post-a-day challenge, each post took me roughly an hour to write. Seeing as this semester is so much more time-crunch than last year was, I can’t see daily blogging fitting into my schedule when I’m not on school breaks. But that’s a priorities thing, as I’ve mentioned. Hopefully I’ll be able to keep up with it more often after school is out (i.e. after I graduate?! omg).

My dog family says hi.

Day60

Peace.

Back to reality

Why is it that the ride home always goes so much faster than the ride to your vaca spot?

Whatever the reason, I don’t like it. Right now I wish I had a time machine so I could go back in time. I definitely wasn’t ready to come home, and I’m not ready to face next week. That being said…

I am going to enjoy a movie night with my girls one last time before Amber heads back to her college town. Maybe I’ll look up some stress relieving exercises for the coming semester. Or maybe I should take up jogging/running (if my knees could hold up). I need to get back into writing in my journal, trying to connect with myself. And I need to find this mis-balance in my life and correct it or adjust to it, because it just doesn’t feel right.

I’m thankful for the time I got to spend with my sister and wonderful niece and nephew. I’m thankful I got to venture onto scary, confusing streets with my boyfriend. I’m thankful I got the chance to be ‘on my own’ for a while. I’m thankful for the people in my life.

Now, if I’m not mistaken, Ashley is bringing a time machine over for me as well as a Rx of Fukitol in case the time machine goes awry. Wish us luck. (:

Peace.

Impatient Aunt!

My sister was induced this morning at 6am and the baby has yet to arrive 15 hrs later! He is my first (and most likely only) biological nephew and I am *SO* excited to meet him and hold him and spoil him!

Now that I got that out of the way, here are a few photos I took on the side of the couples shoot I did last week. Summer time. <3

A lone goose…

And the little family! They were so dang cute.

Speaking of summer, I have devoured what feels like a ton of books and there are so many I want to read that I feel rushed – even though I have all summer. I love books. (:

~

Keep an eye on my photography blog for Tina & Chris’s session. It was a challenge, being my first couple shoot, and I learned a ton – especially what NOT to do next time. :P But it was a good experience and I hope to do another one soon! Getting my feelers out there! (:

Sorry I don’t have much else to say. My mind is on a million different things and I don’t feel like typing it all out.
(:

Peace.

If you had one shot to seize everything you ever wanted, in one moment, would you capture it or just let it slip?

Today started off with some exciting, nerve wracking, and almost overwhelming opportunities. Since I posted two photos of Mr. Jaiden on Facebook, I have gotten numerous requests for photos. Including one that is over the top – a wedding. Okay, so she said it was going to be a small, simple wedding… still, a wedding. Wow. I didn’t know what to think or do when I read that message. What a crazii and exciting opportunity! That I still don’t know what to think of. :P

I’ve just gotta jump on it, take the plunge. See what happens. Learn from it. Explore and break down my boundaries. This summer – actually beginning with Jaiden’s photos – I am building my portfolio. It is the first step. (:

~

On other news, I apologize for the rather short posts lately. I feel like I’ve been putting less priority on my blog posts than I did while classes were in session. Not sure why that is.

Ashley did an awesome post that you should probably go read for fun (no pun intended). I finished my Jodi Picoult book while soaking in a hot bath. I’ve noticed that I’ve really enjoyed doing that lately. The next book I picked up was another trusty Sandra Brown novel, Chill Factor. I’ve read her books before, and though she’s not my favorite author, I like the twists she puts at the end of her books. It keeps me hooked and kudos to her for that. (: Who’s your favorite author? Why?

Quick update on Vicki aka Kiki (thanks Nicole! I like it better. (:) – She has a soft case of kennel cough so it’ll be a few days before she gets to settle into what is hopefully a much comfier temporary home for her than the cold kennel at the shelter.

~

So I’m running short on time right now, since it is 11:43:04pm right now, but I have to mention this last thing.

I often have reservations about choices I’ve made, like for instance, taking in Vicki. As soon as I had called Wade – the coordinator – and settled it with him, I began thinking, What if she doesn’t fit in? What if she doesn’t get along with our dogs, or vice versa? What if I can’t help her? And with my photography: What if I can’t meet their expectations (for instance, at the wedding)? What if I don’t get any good shots? What if my clients are dissatisfied with my work? Notice that these are all ‘what-if’ questions. And I know I can’t live life questioning “what if?” but it is still a difficult habit to overcome. My boyfriend said to me today before work, “You’re the only one who doesn’t have confidence in your work, but everyone else loves it.” Why is that, Heather?

Hmmm… something to chew on. And another mountain to overcome. We are our own worst enemies.

Peace.

Sneak Peek (again!)

Sneak peek from my shoot today with Rachel and her adorable baby boy!

I can’t wait to finish editing them. You have got to see his big blue eyes. (:

Right now, however, I am exhausted. I’m not sure why I’m so tired but I’m starting to think I didn’t get much good sleep last night. Which means I need to get good sleep tonight for my final tomorrow at 10am. I am so ready to be over with school, my mind has been on summer break already for a while now.

Wish me luck. I would say sorry for the rather lame post, but I think that photo is priceless & would be a perfectly awesome post without my babbling here.

(:
Peace.