A letter to me…

Did anyone notice my new page? If not, go take a look and tell me what you think. Then go start your own list. I know you’ll want to. It’s such an awesome concept.

Tonight I accomplished #17 on my list: Write a letter to myself to read after this project.

I put it in an envelope, dated it for the future, and addressed it to myself. The one thing I’m worried about is keeping track of it until 2015. Amazing how that seems so far away. Yet in 2009, the year I graduated high school, 2013 (the year I hope to graduate from college) looked pretty dang far away, too. Sobering fact.

I’ve also begun #54: Build my photography portfolio. I do need to add one more thing to my list, so if you have any ideas or suggestions please leave a comment or tweet me @24Freak.

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I’ve mentioned this amazing woman before, but I must reiterate this. I highly suggest you follow Liz at be.love.live. if for no other reason than to keep up with her story of her personal journey towards peace and the person she is today. Her daily words alone inspire and awe me, and I am so excited to get this insight into her life. And if that doesn’t interest you, follow her for the amazing photos and quotes she posts almost daily. Her happiness and love for life is breathtaking and decidingly contagious.

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Thanks to Tracie Louise, I have begun a small collection of books by Wayne Dyer, and intend to read through each one slowly and methodically, soaking up everything I can. If there’s anything I’ve learned though… anybody can tell you anything to try and help you, but YOU are the only person who can take those words of advice and put them into action and really make a difference to you.

Erroneous: (adjective) marked by error; mistaken; wrong or incorrect

The chapter I read prior to opening my MacBook was entitled, “You Don’t Need Their Approval.” In it he outlined the difference between appreciating other-approval and needing it, the history explaining where it comes from, and then ways to combat it. This chapter really hit home with me because I found many examples he used to describe approval-seeking behaviors as eerily similar to what I used to do a lot in the past, and still find myself somewhat fighting nowadays:

• Feeling depressed or anxious when someone disagrees with you.
• Apologizing for yourself all the time.
• Performing chores for someone and feeling resentful about not being able to say no.
• Getting permission to do something from someone because you fear the displeasure of that person.

……….and others, but I think you get the picture.

It is ridiculous, I know, and I am ashamed to admit that I used to (still do, just not as much) need the approval of others for nearly everything I did, say, do, bought, etc. It wasn’t until a year or so ago that I realized I couldn’t go on living trying to please every single person I may or may not come into contact with, because if anything is impossible, it is that.

 

It’s interesting that Liz is writing her memoir about how she got where she is today, the obstacles she overcame, the transformations she went through, the conflicts she faced both internally and externally. And here I am, struggling through that process right now, stumbling and tripping, soaring and sobbing, trying to find that ever-elusive thing called peace. I’m not assuming that Liz is where she wants to be, though I applaud her if she is. I see this as a journey that never ends –> the only thing that matters is whether or not you are happy with where you are right now, and whether or not it is where you want to be.

Peace.