November 30th: On The Wall

fmsnov30

On the wall at my favorite chill spot.

~

Today I woke up late and missed my morning class, had a small headache, and every little thing was annoying me. Nothing seemed to align with what I needed to do and/or wanted to do/get done. I was frustrated and annoyed and stressing out. Then I had a meeting with my career counselor. We talked about graduate school requirements and deadlines. She helped me get some things organized so I feel better about what I have to do and I now have a to-do list of sorts in my head of what to do next. It’s a slight relief. More work, but at least I (kind of) know where I’m going.

Another small stressor I have is balancing my personal life. I can’t figure out is if it’s me doing something wrong or if it’s a product of someone’s imagination. A problem with that is that I tend to turn things onto myself and internalize them.

fmsdecphotoaday BLLDecPaD

Boy, I’ll be glad when the next two weeks are over. Yes or no, sink or swim, at least I’ll have some stuff off my shoulders (for a little while anyway).

Peace.

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November 29th: Big

In my professional seminar class this morning, we talked about graduate school. The dirty details, the straight truths, the blunt facts. All that scary stuff. I regret that I didn’t get this knowledge in the fall of my junior year. I regret that I didn’t become more involved in activities, clubs, and events right from my freshman year. I regret that I didn’t pursue friendlier relationships with my professors. I regret that I started the research and application process for grad school so late. I regret how naive I was (and am).

But, what can I do now? What’s done is done. Yet it’s almost impossible not to stress about the coming months and wonder where the hell I’m going to be next fall. Are any of my readers older that have been through this process? Care to share your experience?

Peace.

November 28th: Vehicle

If you’re a loyal follower that reads every single word I post – crappy or amazing, boring or fascinating, with photo or no photo, point or not point, confusing or clear, repetitive or jumbled – then you know that I started Susan Cain’s book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking last week. I’m not even half way through it and I’ve already found out so much more about myself: things I knew but didn’t understand or thought were ‘wrong’, certain traits I have that aren’t just unique to me but are intrinsic to my introvert personality. Every single concept, idea, topic she wrote about makes me feel like she delved into my brain and used me as a template for the book. It.is.crazii. And awesome.

Today I felt a sense of calm…. or might I say confidence? I feel like I have a firmer grasp on myself, on what I’m like. Like I understand myself more and so know why and how I process and do things. Perhaps it’s too early to jump to conclusions. But I’m going to continue gulping this book down. (: Who knows what else I might learn.

If  you are an introvert or even an extrovert that leans toward the quieter side, I *highly* recommend this book.

Peace.

November 25th: Sky

The sky on a Sunday night. Calm, peaceful. Still yet moving. Always forward.

Thanksgiving break is over. And the last stretch of the semester is here. I may still be alive at the end of the semester, but certain factors will decide… other things. I need to grasp the control. No, not grasp it. Realize it.

I want to try something different. Like putting my camera on monochrome and shooting in black & white for a week. Maybe next year I’ll do Project 365: a photo a day. Hmmm…

Peace.