Pictures to come later! (:
I was thinking tonight about when I “realized” Santa Claus wasn’t (literally) real, that it was really Mom and Dad putting the gifts under the tree each year.
I remember the denial I felt, trying to hold onto that magic I had felt each past year, and the disappointment and hurt that came with the realization those kind of magical things ‘just don’t happen.’ I felt the same sort of pain when I graduated high school.
The worst part of growing up is the loss of the childhood magic and view of life.
But somehow I found it in my young, immature, and denying mind to face the fact that *that* stuff wasn’t and isn’t real, and that there are bigger reasons for the season: family, togetherness, love, joy, & gratitude – especially gratitude. I forced myself to be thankful for the things I did have, and to enjoy being around the people I love. Because that is what really matters.
There are deeper things in life then material things, then immediate reinforcement and rewards. And the realization that Christmas wasn’t the magical event my childhood mind led it out to be was a huge lesson in that.
Of course I still have my barriers and lines I have yet to cross. There are times I find myself jealous of the apparent ease others get what they want. There are times I get annoyed and angry that my family doesn’t have enough money to go on vacation every year. I’m only human, and I have many many weak points in my character. I am trying my best to strengthen those, to better myself.
On a lighter note, I have been baking up a storm the past couple of days and my artsy-crafty side of my personality has been revealing itself. Perhaps this is because of Pinterest. I’ve become slightly addicted to the DIY pins I find, and the recipes. It’s inspired me to attempt a few crafts (I made mom’s Christmas present – homemade photo coasters – from a pin I found), and to cook. Pinterest actually makes cooking and baking look FUN! For instance, I’ve tried about six new treat recipes in the past two or three days, and even cooked dinner for mom and dad the other night. And tomorrow (tonight) I am making Crock Pot French Toast for our Christmas breakfast and Sweet & Spicy Cocktail Weenies for a pre-dinner snack. I never knew I was so into cooking until I started looking up recipes on Pinterest. Who knows, maybe I’ll start doing some recipe posts to share! (:
Merry Christmas Eve everyone. (:
Actually it didn’t start snowing until 7ish tonight. And the beginning of the day was quite nice. But it is snowing now.
Since about 2:30pm this afternoon, my boyfriend and I have been baking recipes I found on Pinterest. Here are just a couple nom nom moments… (:
And we also made dinner for the parents, with a recipe I found on Pinterest.
And my battery grip came today! It is used but works great and is my Christmas present to me. (: Love it!
And some of the shepherds thrown in for good measure. (:
Today was one of those times that life took me by surprise. I found something out that was shocking and hard to process. I wonder if that’s why the older people seem unfazed by things: they’ve come to learn to not be surprised at anything. But in my 21yrs, I haven’t had too many of those moments.
Anyway, we have Secret in our home for a while. About a month. She’s a good dog, and fun to have around. I think some Christmas photos are in order. (:
Speaking of Christmas, I have one more thing to turn in tomorrow and then I am DONE!!! I can’t wait! Special people are coming home for break and I get to have movie nights and coffee dates and long talks. Ooohh man I cannot wait to cherish every single second. (:
And I have yet to start shopping. :P Oops.
This week has been (and will be) agonizing. This is because I am looking toward (<—funny story about that word) a few things:
– Christmas vacation (relaxation time, working/money making, reading!, prepping for my [hopefully] *final* semester at this [damn] college)
– Next semester –> a fresh start (sort of) for motivation and other school
shit related things
– Photography stuff! –> I’m behind on editing (3 sessions to do)! Upcoming shoots, getting contracts and such thought out. Updating my blog. Coming up with deals & promotions. And lots of other things.
– Money. Always money. Saving, budgeting, planning for the future (kinda sorta :P).
– This blog! What I want to do next year. What I’m going to do with it next year. Ideas, inspirations, etc. etc.
The reason this week is agonizing is because I’m not really thinking about the next 3-4 days. I’m thinking about vacation and long-term things I listed above. (Plus there’s probably more I forgot to mention.) And I should probably be focusing on the next 3-4 days right now. :P
There’s a little update on where my thoughts are. If anyone cares. (:
I was beginning to wonder if we were going to have a brown Christmas like we did last year. Of course we still might, but it was kind of nice to see the white fluffy stuff coming down from the sky. If it would stay like this all year – light, fluffy snowman-type snow that stays OFF the streets – it would be perfect. :P
What do you think of my new header? I wanted something more festive, more a mark of the season. Messing with photoshop has been so much fun. I’m not *quite* satisfied with it, but it’ll do for now. I’m also thinking about decorating my room for Christmas. Put up lights around my window or something. I’m so ready for Christmas break, more so than usual it feels like. My lists have gotten bigger since yesterday’s post. *sigh*
Sometimes I wonder what my life looks like to people who follow me on Instagram. Seeing little shots of my life, where I’ve been, who I’m with, what I do, maybe even how I see things. What kind of image of me does that give to people? Just curious…