Merry Christmas Eve (:

I was thinking tonight about when I “realized” Santa Claus wasn’t (literally) real, that it was really Mom and Dad putting the gifts under the tree each year.

I remember the denial I felt, trying to hold onto that magic I had felt each past year, and the disappointment and hurt that came with the realization those kind of magical things ‘just don’t happen.’ I felt the same sort of pain when I graduated high school.

The worst part of growing up is the loss of the childhood magic and view of life. 

But somehow I found it in my young, immature, and denying mind to face the fact that *that* stuff wasn’t and isn’t real, and that there are bigger reasons for the season: family, togetherness, love, joy, & gratitude – especially gratitude. I forced myself to be thankful for the things I did have, and to enjoy being around the people I love. Because that is what really matters.

There are deeper things in life then material things, then immediate reinforcement and rewards. And the realization that Christmas wasn’t the magical event my childhood mind led it out to be was a huge lesson in that.

Of course I still have my barriers and lines I have yet to cross. There are times I find myself jealous of the apparent ease others get what they want. There are times I get annoyed and angry that my family doesn’t have enough money to go on vacation every year. I’m only human, and I have many many weak points in my character. I am trying my best to strengthen those, to better myself.

~

On a lighter note, I have been baking up a storm the past couple of days and my artsy-crafty side of my personality has been revealing itself. Perhaps this is because of Pinterest. I’ve become slightly addicted to the DIY pins I find, and the recipes. It’s inspired me to attempt a few crafts (I made mom’s Christmas present – homemade photo coasters – from a pin I found), and to cook. Pinterest actually makes cooking and baking look FUN! For instance, I’ve tried about six new treat recipes in the past  two or three days, and even cooked dinner for mom and dad the other night. And tomorrow (tonight) I am making Crock Pot French Toast for our Christmas breakfast and Sweet & Spicy Cocktail Weenies for a pre-dinner snack. I never knew I was so into cooking until I started looking up recipes on Pinterest. Who knows, maybe I’ll start doing some recipe posts to share! (:

Merry Christmas Eve everyone. (:

Peace.

 

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