Unresolved conflict

What do you think? Is it better to keep something under the rug that you feel strongly (negative emotions) about, or is it better to talk about them with said person? Don’t give me the cliche answer either; give me what your experience has told you.



5 comments on “Unresolved conflict

  1. ash says:

    I hate answering such general questions, because I never feel like I’m quite getting the gist of what is being asked. But I’ll do my best.

    Experience has told me that it’s a case-by-case basis. It all depends on how you see things and determine what is “better”. (It’s all in what you believe, is it not?) You have to try to weigh the consequences of both sides and figure out what works best for you. Unfortunately, experience has also shown me that I can’t see the future, nor can I always relatively accurately predict how each option would work out. Damn you, hindsight.

    For me, it’s easier to throw it under the rug. I don’t like conflict or confronting people I care about enough to let something bother me. (Anyone else, let’s take it outside!! ;]) But in the long run, there’s too much shit built up under the rug anymore and I trip and fall over it. Which is no bueno for me; sometimes I land straight on my face. Sometimes though I can just get back up and brush it off and live another day to pile more negative crap under the rug. Has avoiding talking with said person been worth all the bruises from tripping over the rug? Not really. Has realizing that fact made talking with people about negative emotions any easier? Nope.

    Is that cliche enough for you? Anyway, sometimes there are cliches for a reason.. Sorry. I probably didn’t tell you anything you didn’t already know/figure out.

    • Even if it is “something I already know” you have your own way of putting it, which makes it worthwhile. (: I appreciate the comment.

      Is it surprising to you that even though my line is “It’s all in what you believe” I’m still having a hard time living by that? I want to know what’s RIGHT. What the *right* answer is. What the *truth* is. Yes, I’ve realized that there isn’t any *right* answer or *right* way to do things (hence my line) but easier said than done. :P

      I agree with you about throwing it under the rug. I don’t know if I throw it under the rug (hypothetically literally) and forget about it, or if I let it brim up and peek over without really revealing itself. Both, probably. And neither is probably a good response. But I’m only human, right? :/

      • ash says:

        It does not surprise me one bit. Lots of things are easier said than done. I’m sure you’ve also figured out by now that what I say and what I do don’t always match up..
        [this message will self-destruct in 16 seconds because I won’t admit to it again! xD 16…15…14…]

  2. Maybe I’m too late already to reply to this post? But I’ll give you my thoughts just in case… Sweeping things under the carpet is usually unhealthy for me. Results in stress and illness.

    Also, I’ve recently come to realise that, in a way, staying quiet on serious matters is not fair to others. People aren’t mind readers, and sometimes they’d be horrified to find out later how strongly we feel about…whatever it is.

    If there’s no other way of ‘managing’ the situation, then I would always raise the issue. Starting with ‘I wanted to have a chat with you about something…’ tends to work for me, because people realise it is important, and it seems to make them listen.

    My two cents… :)

    • Thank you for this. You make it sound perfectly sensible and obvious. Sometimes things just need to be taken out of the fog for us to realize they *aren’t* the fog.

      I’ve never thought that stress could come from that. Makes sense, I guess… thanks Alarna <3

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