We can keep it on the down low

That song has been in my head for the past couple days. Nothing special about it really, except it’s catchy and head-bobbing and just plain fun to drive to.


Despite a pretty great day: watching the sunrise, a super fun “fashion” photo shoot with a good friend of mine, an almost 3hr talk over coffee with my best friend (<3), a a sort of backwoods drive, and a delicious homemade slow-cooked roast dinner… I started to feel off a little bit after dinner with the family ended.


I think it’s the recent death in my boyfriend’s family that is affecting me. And my worry and stress about this last year of college, what I’m going to do next, what I have to do now. And other things. But I don’t deal with death well. Of course, who does? I just want to hurry up and move on when someone dies. That sounds bad, but I don’t mean it in the way you might think. I don’t want to face it, hear the consolations and sorrows that everyone is “supposed to” say or give. And I’m not a good support system either, although I try despite my discomfort. Personally, I want to be left alone to deal with the pain and loss by myself when someone close to me dies. So that’s what I off-handedly give to those who lose someone close to them, alone time.



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