I’ve always known there was something different about me. I never understood why my peers got so hyped up about school basketball games, football games, dances, etc. I wasn’t interested in going to school activities. I never knew why that was, when my sister was eagerly getting decked out in the Raider orange and black colors, I would rather stay home. At first I labeled myself a loner, just accepting that I didn’t want to hang out around a bunch of people who I really didn’t care about. Then a few years back I took the Myers-Brigg Personality Test, and I began getting interested in what was really ‘wrong’ with me. I figured it out shortly after that but it’s taken me quite a while to embrace and be proud of the fact that I am an introvert, through and through.
I put myself through the checklist:
– Do you prefer working by yourself rather than in groups? Yes
– Do people often wonder why you’re so quiet and ‘aloof’? Yes
– Do you dread being in the spotlight or being called out in class? BIG yes
– Do you prefer listening over talking? Yes
– Do you feel uncomfortable or nervous in groups of people? Kind of yes
……..and the list goes on.
I’m pretty good at putting up with people. But true to my nature I only have a few close friends, I like to think things over before acting, and I get exhausted in long, drawn-out social interactions. When I’m pushed to my limits (usually at work this happens, because people are always around) I get crabby, annoyed, tired, and snappy. And good grief, don’t touch me! (People are always poking and prodding and playing with my hair and tickling me and rubbing my shoulders. Wears me out!)
Of course on the other side, I do enjoy some social gatherings, small ones, just not for as long as most other people do. At night I (usually) like to be at home, hanging out in my room or watching a movie. It takes me a while to warm up to people but once I do I’m fine. I’m not shy, as I used to label myself, I just don’t care for putting in my two cents in every single conversation.
This is an interesting link: 10 Myths About Introverts
I went outside with the dogs today, like I usually do, and Dustin came out after me. I let him throw the ball, and I took off my jacket, sprawled on the ground, and closed my eyes. It was so nice. I was laying there thinking about my dogs, but my thoughts also drifted to my personality trait, introversion. I’ve been thinking lately that I don’t give myself enough ME time. In other words, I don’t respect my needs like I should. I let myself get brought to the point where I snap and lash out at others, and myself sometimes, instead of stepping back before that and giving myself some breathing room to recharge.
I get enjoyment from being around people, particularly Dustin, Ashley, and Amber, but there comes a point where I just want to be by myself – like any introvert. Is that so hard to do?
Here are a couple more links I found interesting to read. They’re from the same blog so if it interests you, search around and read more.
If you made it through, thanks for listening to me ramble. (: Leave a comment and let me know what you think!