My feet are sore after this stupid long day at work. Full of people that make me wonder how humanity keep its head above water. Astounding. For instance…
Guest: I’d like the 6oz sirloin, medium well please.
Me: Okay, what sides would you like?
Guest: What sides do you have?
My inner dialogue: That’s what’s the menu’s there for, idiot. You know, you’re supposed to READ it.
Guest: Okay, L—‘s (3yo) going to have chicken tenders and fries.
Me: Alright, and what would you like?
Guest: Can I get the 12 ribeye, medium rare, with french fries and a salad?
Me: We only have steak fries, is that okay?
Guest: Are those the fat ones?
Guest (after pondering for a moment): Is that what her’s will be? (pointing to L—-)
My inner dialogue: Didn’t I just tell you we ONLY have steak fries?! Of course her’s are going to have steak fries, unless you want me to run to freaking McDonalds for you!!!
I had this little family at my table, an 18-month-ish girl, two older brothers, and the mom and dad. Nice family. 18mo was sitting in the corner as I go to take the dad’s order:
Me: Okay, what can I get for you?
Guest: I’d like the smokehouse burger, please.
Me: Alright, little bit of pink or no pink? (My eyes glance up to the little girl, who is beginning to crawl on the table and reach for the sugars and salt and pepper shakers.)
Guest: Oh, lots of pink if you can.
Me: Okay…. (the little girl takes the salt shaker and starts waving it around, spraying salt everywhere, big ‘ol smile on her face) Umm sir, she’s… got the salt shaker…
My inner dialogue: Seriously? What’d they think she’d do?
I roll my eyes as I walk away. *sigh* Some peoples children.